The Uncomfy Survey

Got this from multiply. I'm sleepy so... It's not really uncomfy. I have a good heart. I just have an attitude problem [if you were my officemate, you'd laugh]..

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY
(Lets see if you can get through it. If not, you're too scared about your past.)

• Longest relationship? ALMOST 4 YEARS. THE CURRENT IS CATCHING UP. WE'RE CLOSE TO 3 YEARS NOW.
• Shortest relationship: I'VE HAD ONLY 2 RELATIONSHIPS.
• Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were dating? THE FIRST ONE, NO. THIS ONE, YES.
• Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? UHUH.
• Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? TEARY EYED, YES.
• Have you ever been cheated by your gf/bf? HELL, YEAH!
• What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex? EYEBROWS.
• Have you ever broken someone's heart? LAST I CHECKED, HE WAS UNAFFECTED BEFORE WE ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP.
• Talk to any of your exes? WE'RE STILL VERY GOOD FRIENDS.
• If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of ur exes would you? NO FUCKIN' WAY! HE WAS A GOOD FRIEND BUT A BAD LOVER.
• Think any of your ex's feel the same way? I DON'T THINK ABOUT HIM ANYMORE.
• Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? SURE. OVER 2 YEARS EACH SO.. YES.
  
• Have you dated people who were not good to you? OH YEAH.
• Have you dated someone older than you? TWICE.
• Younger? UMMM.. ONCE?
• Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend? NOPE.
• Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.
• Ever dated two people at once? YEP.
• Do you want to get married? SOMEDAY.
• Do you have something to say to any of your exes? HMMM. KEEP IN TOUCH? LOL.
  
• Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? NOT THAT I KNOW OF.
• Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend? NO.
• Does heartbreak really seem as bad as it sounds? IT MAKES ME CRY EACH TIME. I GUESS IT IS.

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Coup D'état.. Again?!

The drama at the Manila Peninsula Hotel kept me up all afternoon. Another coup d'état attempt. I wonder, what was Trillanes thinking? I doubt any president can change the Philippines overnight. Even one term is not enough if you ask me. I bet we would make progress if they focus their time and energy to more pressing issues like reducing the poverty rate in the country rather than plotting things like that. Stupid politicians. On the brighter side, I laughed at the thought that I'm no different than Trillanes. Tear gas made him surrender while watery eyes made me give in to my man, LOL. And I wonder if I'd be successful if I chose a career in journalism/broadcasting. I love to eavesdrop and I always look like I was abused by seven demons. I was watching Ces Drilon earlier and I laughed for a good two minutes at how her headband was already in her forehead yet she continuously chased whoever it was who could give her updates on what's going on. I bet I'd look good on the cameras if I was in her shoes. I don't have to do anything yet I would appear as if I had been working my ass getting information. I turned off the television at one point because I was irritated by ABS-CBN reporter Doland Castro and how he delivered report. He made it appear like World War I-don't-know was about to break when he saw SWAT members hiding behind network vans. He was stuttering as sweat streaked his forehead. He was so into what he was doing that if I were Karen Davila, I would have screamed over at Doland - "Can you please shut the fuck up for a minute and listen to my instructions?!" LOL. There were cameras all over the hotel and he was only stationed at one part. Karen can see basically everything from her studio feed but the stupid field reporter took off his headphone and went on blabbing. Well, how am I supposed to understand them and how they work? I am speaking as a viewer. Anyway, I learned just now that I still haven't lost my touch as tech support. I got our office network up. Weepeey! I'm gonna start working now. No day off until Dec. 21 and we're already planning on bringing sleeping bags, clothes and toiletries since we will basically live here in the office for the next two weeks. Goodbye social life for now.

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When It Rains, It Pours

Amen! Two great things happened today.. First, my guy and I are now okay. It was drama but we talked things out and all is great. Now I have to cancel my broadcast to Bacolod about my plans of getting wild and crazy come Christmas vacation. Second and most importantly, our boss said all is good now and he will give us our permanent employment contract. Woohoo! He said the energy and dedication we showed last night was what he wanted from all of us. His plans for us are great and I'm very excited! It's embarassing how somebody as good as that was not taken really seriously before he showed us what he can do. We still have a deadline though. Everybody wants that P200K for Christmas. Anyway, gotta go now. My station is all trash with the things I need to do. Gotta go get some deals closed!

---> 07:30 a.m. Been here at the same internet cafe that "was" our office for almost two hours now. Globe had been having network issues because of typhoon Lando, I guess. Was. When our office was still being set-up. We've been all over Cebu back in July. I remember the look on our faces whenever we settled in in an internet cafe and the connection drops, then we'll all flock to another one. It was fun though. Yawn.. I've been used to my office PC that I can't work well here. Worse, Ryan is beside me belting out Bituing Walang Ningning and I can't help but sing along. Two more hours.. Two more hours.. I want my bed!

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Crunch Time!

I was fired. No. We were all fired. And hired again. As to how long we're gonna stay? Final decision would be on December 14. And when we say deadline, it means we either beat the time or we're dead. This is more than crunch time. It's complicated. I'm gonna have to focus on work 101%. I think I won't even have the time to fix my personal slash heart issue. Note: Work pressure is a good diversion if you want to get your mind off a problem you don't wanna face.. I'm gonna miss blogging too. For now, I have to let this hobby go or I'm gonna lose the best career opportunity given to me. If I can sneak, good.. And Dammit, of all fuckin' days that I can be sick, it happened the same day I was threatened I'd lose my job. Motherfucker! Success waits for nobody so this flu can't pull me down. GTG.

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Fuck You For Breaking My Heart!

Weepey! I've seen Hitman and Saturday would have been perfect if not for, sigh I'll talk about that later. Timothy Olyphant aka Agent 47 was sooo hot. His piercing stares seems to tell you he can kill you with his bare hands [actually, his character can] or strip you off your clothes and fuck you wild, hehehehe. Sunday was boring but I watched Enchanted with Talia. I've been waiting for it and there are now two movies off my must-see list. It was a fantasy/comedy film but I fuckin' cried when I heard that song during the ball. In case you're wondering why I'm so upset, the one guy who I thought was so perfect and who I thought would never hurt me, broke my goddamn heart and I never felt stupid crying in a taxi 'coz of heartache twice in my life. First when I learned my old flame had a girlfriend in Manila while he was still screwing me and last Saturday when I learned that that sick bastard just wanted me for the meantime and he has made plans for himself and I'm not fuckin' part of it. Well, I haven't really asked him if that's what he meant with all the things he said but it sure sounded like he's off to somewhere without me. It makes me wonder, was the girl crying in the cab almost three years ago as stupid and immature as the crying lady in another cab last Saturday? Have I not learned my lessons? To you, who fuckin' subjected me to two days of crying, unless you give me a good reason to change my mind, then I think you and I are a done-deal-dot-com. For making my heart feels like an orange in a squeezer for the last couple of days, I only have this to tell you.. FUCK YOU FOR BREAKING MY HEART!

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Sleepy Eyes

No work again tonight. We went to our boss' new house at Silver Hills for a meeting/training. I'm looking forward to changing my life with the help of this company. You probably wouldn't understand. Anyway, I gotta go. I came here just to check my mails. I know I was one of those my boss said who had sleepy eyes. Who wouldn't be sleepy when I was up all day yesterday anticipating the message informing us about this meeting. To make it worse, we had beer during the meeting, hehehehe. Happy weekend!

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Happy Thanksgiving!

No work tonight yet why am I here in the office? I dunno. I don't have anything to do at home [as expected] and the cable shows failed to amaze me so I thought maybe I could use this time to do some work research. I watched Must Love Dogs however I've seen it a lot of times so I wasn't so interested. I wanted to sleep instead 'coz the exhaustion of *toot* got the best of me but the voices of gays videoke-ing downstairs was too loud... Today's not my day.. So here I am, alone.. listening to Freestyle Live while waiting for Van.

Found this f*ckin' video and all I can say to this gal is: "Get a life! And don't ride on with Pearl's popularity!" Lame excuse to be noticed. Ugh! Van and Sergs are here but we won't be here for long anyway 'coz we'll have a meeting tomorrow at 11am so we need to rest. Later!

In addition to this entry.. Found another old email. I'm not posting this to insult people from India 'coz I have friends from Covad [Hyderabad, India] and I dunno if these were actually true. I just thought it's a good way of letting people know the importance of not only being proficient in English verbally but in writing as well. On the other hand, the video below shows the opposite. Enjoy!

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India.

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore : >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"As I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave."

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today."

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both (!!) For the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post."

Berlitz: Junior Commcercial

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Transformers: Pinoy Style

Here's Transformers.. Pinoy Style!

BarriCAB

BumbleJEEP

Colorum

Kagawadzz

MegaTREN
OptiBUS Prime
SemBreaker

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One More Chance.. daw!

Just when I was getting used to sitting by the window overlooking the jeepneys passing by Gorordo Avenue, I was asked to transfer station. Now I am between an Account Manager and another Business Development Manager like me so I hardly have the time to do anything else but work. Not that I took advantage of me being away from the others when I was at my old station. It's just that when you're surrounded by people who are so into working, you end up doing the same thing. And I love it.

Earlier, I went to Lapu2x City for their annual fiesta. My bestie only had me as his guest. He called and woke me up at 5:30pm. I didn't even had the time to blower my hair only to walk almost 2 kilometers from their mercado [marketplace] amidst the heavy traffic, rough and wet road. But food was great although I didn't have enough so I ended up eating the take home food by Faith from her bestfriend's birthday.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the US. I'm half wishing we won't have work but being here in the office is way better than spending the night alone in my room on a Thursday. I can't think of anything else to talk about so I'll end it here.

By the way, Talia sent me this funny email - One More Chance.. daw! It's in Bisaya and for those who can't understand, I'm sorry but I don't have the time to translate it. Be resourceful. Hehehehe.

1. Kung mag-uyab uyab, kutob lang jud 4 years and 11 months kung dili seryoso. Kay kung mo abot ug 5 years, magsugod na ang problema labi na kung dili nimo makita imong kaugaligon nga minyo-an inyo uyab. Sigurado-a nga sa sulod sa 4 years and 11 months imong napasabot imong uyab nga UYAB ra jud mo. Dili magbuot buot ug dili mo desisyon bahin sa unsang aspect sa imong kinabuhi. Kung unsa imong gusto kan-on, mokaon jud ka maski na ug panit na sa manok.

2. Kung magkabuwag, please lang ayaw patubo ug bungot labi na kung babae ka. Maski unsaon dili jud ka balikan. I-maintain ang pagka gwapa ug pagka gwapo maski nabuwagan. Kung mahimo mag makeover.

3. Kung mag makeover pud ka, ayaw paputol ug pinariha sa buhok ni Trisha kay ang ending buwagan ra gihapon ka. Dili gyud na batayan ang buhok sa ex-gf or ex-bf sa pagpili ug bag-o nga gf or bf.

4. Ayaw jud pakig-uyab sa officemate kay kung mgbuwag mawad-an ra ka ug trabaho. Hasol na ang pagpangita ug laing trabaho. Alkansi ka sa mahabilin.

5. Ayaw paghimo ug kanta para sa 1st monthsary. Kung maghimo man jud ka, sigurado-a nga nahuman nimo bag-o ihatag. Kay kung dli, ang sumpay mao ray hinungdan sa inyo pagbuwag.

6. Kung ibutang man gani ug frame ang lyrics, tan-awa sa kung matabunan ang lakra sa karaan nga frame. Kung dili, ayaw gamit ug tu-alya para limpyo kay magisi na lang ang tu-alya wala pa natangtang ang lama. Pwede ra mogamit ug pintal para limpyo or pwede ra jud ibutang ang lyrics sa frame nga pareha kadak-a sa karaan nga frame.

7. Palit ug digital camera. Kung naa na kay digicam, dad-a kanunay. Adto dayon ug village or subdivision para ma micture ug mga balay. Basin didto pa nimo makita ug maka-ila ang imong bag-ong best friend nga sobra ka gwapo nga mohatag nimo ug laing trabaho. Pero dili magdahum kay ang gwapo nga best friend dili gyud na ma-imo. Naa ra nay balikan inig ending.

8. Lastly, kung ganahan na jud ka mobuwag huwata lang nga ang imong gf or bf ang mobuwag. Agwanta lang sa gyud kaysa magmahay ka inig human. Maayo ng ang isa mobuwag kay para siya ang magmahay ngano nibuwag siya nimo not the other way around.

9. Kung nakatigum naka ug daghang kwarta para sa kasal, apan sa wala nimu damha, dili d ay madayon, palit dayun ug bag-ong sakyanan kay ug maguba-an ug sakyanan ang nakig buwag nimu, sip-onon cya sa kabugnaw sa airon kung cya makasakay sa imung bag-ong sakyanan.

10. Kung makigbuwag ka, ayaw kalimut ug “sorry” harun dili ka mapugos ug adto sa apartment sa imung gibuwagan ug mapahimuslan ang imung pagka babae.

11. Kung ang imung uyab ganahan ug panit sa manok or adik sa coke, ayaw kaayu pasobra-I ug bawal kaniya ang panit sa manok or coke kay mau unya nay “deal breaker” sa inyong relasyon.

12. Kung nag-away mo sa imung uyab ug ikaw nanginahanglan ug tabang, ayaw panawag sa imung mga amiga nga amiga usab sa imung uyab kay maguba ra imung diskarte. Mahibaw-an raka ghapon ka ug makit-an ghapon ka sa imung uyab.

13. Kung mangayo ka ug space, hatagi sa saktong sokod sa gidag-on sa space harun makasabot ug sakto ang imung uyab ug maka hatag sa space nga iyang gusto.

14. Kung ikaw nay laing laki dala ug ikaw nahibalo nga usa ka “bestfriend material” lamang ang kanang lakiha, ipakwintas nya ang tag nga nay sulat nga “friends rami” harun ug makit-an ka sa imung gibuwagang uyab, dili cya mag hormentado or maghimu ug “frenzy” .

15. Dili na angay maghayagay ug daghang gifts or mudawat ka ug daghang gifts gikan sa imung uyab kay i-uli rana sa imung uyab kung makig buwag cya or kung makig buwag ka, maghagohago ka ug panghipos ug pagsulod sa cartoon sa niadtong mga handumanan.

16. Kung naay tan-awon sa cellphone ang imung mga amiga ug amigo ug ikaw dili nila pakit-on, ayaw nalang jud pamugos kay harun dili ka magsakit. Sama sa ilang gi-ingon, reality bites.

17. Kung ikaw ang mahimong bestfriend material sa usa ka tao nga bag-o nagbuwagan sa uyab, ayaw ihatag imung cell number haron dili matigaw ang imung pagtulog sa tumang kadlawn.

18. Kung ikaw usa ka singer, ug aduna kay nakit-an nga laki nga nag lisud ug sakay sa iyang sakyanan kay kini hubog, ayaw ninyo ug tabangi, kay kini usa ka manyak! Ug manghalok sa maski kinsang babae iyang makit-an.

19. Kung ikaw walay uyab, ayaw kawala ug paglaum kay bisan ang buta naminyo ug nakapamabdos man gain. Kato cya usa ka patunay nga “love is blind”.

20. Kung magbuwag gani mo sa imong uyab, follow the 3 months rule before ka mangta og lain uyab.

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Something New..

One down from my list of must-see movies. I was a little bit disappointed with Beowulf though 'coz it wasn't as spectacular as I thought it would be. I've read it way back and they've somehow captured the essence of the story. What amazed me was the animation. It was so realistic that even the hair strands were moving. I was more into looking at the details rather than the movie as a whole. I also watched One More Chance. Cheesy but I don't care. It was actually a nice movie. It was a happy ending [as always..] but at least it wasn't as common as most Filipino movies are. I even watched it twice. Sunday and before I came here in the office tonight. I won't spoil it for those who are still planning to see it.

Something new? My hair. My friend Joedel was here and he wanted to try Bench Fix. Being the supportive friend that I am, I cut my hair too. Ever since I cut it short back in high school, I've never grown it long. Well, once I think second year college. It had always been short but recently, I had to grow it 'coz.. hehehehe he might read this so nevermind. I was feeling good after the cut with the blower and all. Then I realized the stylist took more than a couple of inch. Here's the picture in case you're wondering, LOL.

Before.

After. Sigh. Six months.. Six months and it'll be long again..

Was it signal # 1 or 2 yesterday? It was definitely a storm with the canopy tents in Ayala flying everywhere and a part of the wall collapsing. We were asked not to report for work. We waited for more than an hour for a taxi only to find out that there's no electricity at my place. It was a gloomy day and I don't even want to think about it.

I'm nervous. I dunno what will happen after our meeting. Everybody's here.. They said we'll call it a night as soon as we're done with it. Sheesh. Gotta go now..

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Crappy Old Me

Woohoo! I found one of my old blog site. It only had four entries but I'm happy 'coz now I can compare the way I used to blog. But I kinda think nothing has changed. Oh well, I'm gonna post it here anyway.. Crappy Old Me..Ü

Why Not..
Sunday, 25 February 2007 at 23:38

I'm not a fan of blogging, reading somebody else's - yes, though I free write almost every day [I have this huge journal for my ranting pleasure]. This is a free feature so why not use it. Luckily, this is one of the very few non-work related sites that our IT department hasn't blocked [yet, and hopefully not ever] so I might be able to get used to updating this at least once a week.
The only thing that keeps me from blogging is the fact that this is fully accessible. Honestly, I don't understand the whole concept of blogs, I just enjoy reading. The good thing about this is that, unlike my journal, putting entries is easier coz typing is faster than writing. I just can't bare it all here, I can't backbite, I can' t swear, etc. I dread the day that somebody would actually read my journal 'coz I've openly expressed my feelings there & it's not all pretty.
Common thing is, it's an outlet. Although... my friends tells me I often think aloud & guess what, I hurt others with my stupid, stupid mouth. I always say I'm just being honest, or frank, or whatever but really, I'm just tactless. So I'm telling you now, if you wanna be my friend, think again.
Feel free to leave me your comments [lol, as if you care].
By the way, I have/had a blogsite www.funnyhouse.blogspot.com and I haven't updated that one in a looong time. That is funny for most of the people who share the same humor and I wrote that out of boredom so crash into it if you feel like..
This is all for now. Ciao!

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A New Twist
Monday, 26 February 2007 at 04:48

I agreed to meet up with a good friend last Friday and though I just got off from work [exhausted, sleepy and grumpy], he was able to convince me to drink. I haven't seen him for more than 2 years since he left PeopleSupport and I owe him all that I am now coz he was my very first mentor. So they ordered some SanMigLight in cans at the hotel where he and his other friend was staying and I didn't say anything when I saw that it seems I'm on for a looong 'session'. I don't like beer in can but since hotels rarely have stocks in bottles, I popped mine open without any qualms. Now here's the thing, my friend went out to get his 'special ingredient' and I was quite surprised when he got back with a box of Extra Joss. Yeah baby, Extra Joss! What amazed me was they didn't ask for a glass of water. They actually put the powder on their beer. They said it keeps them going on and on and on......
Fast forward to a couple of cans, I was feeling the exhaustion that even a cup of Caramel Macchiato can't get rid of [I dropped by a coffee shop before meeting up with them coz I know I won't be able to go home sooner and my shift ends at f*cking 1pm!] so I decided against my better judgement to try this new twist to SML. A few drops of the powder made the difference in the taste but a few drops later, I felt this certaiin adrenaline coming over me. No more yawns, no more constant look on my cellphone's clock.. I was psyched! Believe me, ever since I started working, my alcohol tolerance wasn't as strong as it was when I was in college but that 'new twist' made me drink like there was no tomorrow. Well, maybe that's over exaggerated but i was sure i was drinking more than what I can normally manage nowadays. No hangovers, no headache but since I didn't get enough sleep and had --- nevermind... I'm now nursing a cough, a cold and a slight fever..

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Where's the mute button?!
Friday, 2 March 2007 at 01:18

I came across this audio about the PLDT DSL customer representative who cursed the customer [tags: Raul Bacaldo or Catherine Rossana]. I don't know whether I'd laugh at the customer's over-exaggeration or pity the emotional agent. This audio had been circulating since last year but I never really had the chance to listen to it. I was able to the other day and I would just like to say that I have never heard of a customer representative who was so stupid and forgot to hit the mute button. Well, I did that once. I had said "f@#$" and the customer was like "what did you say?". Quick thinking saved me though. We have this FOC Date in our database w/c is also important as far DSL troubleshooting is concerned and good thing it sounded like F@#$% *wink*.
Anyway, I've been working as a tech support agent for close to 3 years now and had numerous nerve-racking, ear-stinging customer encounters. One customer called me "bitch", the other one said "f@#$% you", etc, etc. [pardon my poor use of punctuation marks]. I used to cry but I didn't do it on the calls. Now, I'd say I'm tough [I work with an escalation team so I can now raise my voice when talking to customers LOL], but there are still times when I get affected.
That audio made me realize how important the training that our company gave us. Customers are always right, but there are inevitable things in technology that are beyond our control. Training for handling customer frustration taught us how to pacify screaming, irate/frustrated/enraged end-users with calmness and authority. Technical training taught us the specifics of the remote and physical repairs on the line and softwares, with that we're able to give proper time expectations. A customer will stop ranting if they are given technical explanations. Why? Either they understand OR they don't want to be embarassed by the fact that they know nothing about the service. Besides, which ISP intentionally interrupts their customers connection? For what --- fun? And one more thing, offer credits - that's music to their ears.
This is one reason why I had once told a Smart customer care representative when I called to complain, "it's a shame how we Filipinos can give good customer care to people abroad but not with our own". I am proud to say that I work with a team that delivers despite the discrimination we get from some of our american customers.

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Yyyaaawwwnnn
Wednesday, 7 March 2007 at 00:40

I'm not into classical music but I'm not against it either but eversince I started working in a call center, I've grown to hate it. The hold music of every call center I know are instrumental and classical music, the most common is The Canon by Pachelbel. I loved it when I first heard it on the Korean movie My Sassy Girl [the piano piece on the recital] but now, I loathe it! Anyway, since I'm on hold and I'm listening to it right now, I figured I'll do something else rather than continue pulling out dead hair strands which I had been doing for the last 9 mins.

I can't think of anything in particular to talk about so I'll think about random things. Uhhmm, aaahh, ummm. Darn, nothing seems to interest me as I look around the office. The only thing I see in front of me is a pack of Marlboro reds. Ok, I've been trying to quit smoking but it's easier said than done. It keeps me awake. Though I'm insomiac, the boring work that we do here is enough to make me crave for my bed every hour of my shift. Quitting had been my new years resolution for the last couple of years but what the heck, I always hear people say quitters never win, so why would I quit?! Kidding aside, I told myself I'll quit if I get pregnant [not that I'm asking for it - now]. We'll see...

Did it ever happen to you that you wanted to fart really bad but you can't? That's exactly what I'm feeling right now! ~!@#$%^&*()_+ Oh hey, my agent is back on the line! Gotta go, I need to let out this silent wind of doom or careless whisper as I always call it, harharhar...

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Babies!

I said I love kids and I have a lot of pictures, videos and audios. Here are some of my faves. I wanted to find ways to get my mind off "the wait" so I went thru my files.. It's been over 24 hours and no response yet.. Sigh..

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I Kill You!

I love watching stand-up comedy acts. If I have to choose where to go on a Saturday night between the hottest spot in town or the local comedy bar [22nd Street, hehehehe], I'd choose the latter. I've seen Margaret Cho, Ellen Degeneres, Rex Navarette, even the PorkChop Duo perform [online] but this is one of the funniest acts I have ever seen. This is by the hottie comedian/ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. Meet Achmed, The Dead Terrorist.

* Ventriloquism: The art of projecting one's voice so that it seems to come from another source, as from a wooden figure.

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Waiting..

Less than half an hour more and it'll start.. It'll probably take a maximum of 4 hours.. The wait is excruciating.. I didn't get a good sleep.. I tossed and turned in my bed, rumpling the sheet as if there was --- you know what I mean.. [although, there really was **wink**].. I am restless.. As much as I don't want to think about it, I can't help it.. I don't wanna jinx it, but I can't seem to get it off my mind.. This might be my first..

If I get a positive confirmation, then I'd tell you what it is. How I wish I'm talking about a pregnancy test but it's something else.. I swear to God I'd do [or at least try] ten cartwheels if it's a yes.. Ugh! The wait is killing me..

I find this song very relaxing but it does little help to ease the anxiety.. Samson by Regina Spektor [It doesn't automatically play so click the PLAY button.]

---> It's been over a couple of hours and still no response.. Maybe tomorrow..

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Whatever!

I was looking for a funny and sarcastic quote from my YahooMail notepad for my YM status message [currently, it's "I-have-not-failed. I've just found a hundred ways that doesn't work."] and I chanced upon this funny file, hehehehe.Ü

• "Pinapaikot mo lang ako. Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang patayin mo na lang ako" -ELECTRIC FAN
• "Hindi lahat ng walang salawal ay bastos!" -WINNIE D POOH
• "Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad kundi ang mapalapit sa iyo? Pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo!" -IPIS
• "Hala! Sige magpakasasa ka! Alam ko namang katawan ko lang ang habol mo." -HIPON
• "Ayoko na! Pag nagmamahal ako lagi na lang maraming tao ang nagagalit! Wala ba akong karapatang magmahal?!?" -GASOLINA
• "Hindi lahat ng green ay masustansya." -PLEMA
• "Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sau. Ayoko ko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao ganun mo na lang ako itanggi.." -UTOT
• "Sawang sawa na ako palagi nalang akong pinagpapasa-pasahan, pagod na pagod na ako!" -BOLA
• "You never know what you have till you lose it. And once you lose it, you can never get it back" -SNATCHER
• "Di na nga ako gumagalaw dito, ako na nga yung natapakan, sya pa itong galit." -TAE
• "Hindi lahat ng pink, KIKAY!" -BAYANI FERNANDO
• "Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka mahirap ba talagang makontento sa isa? Bakit palipat-lipat ka?" -TV
• "Hindi lahat ng maasim may Vitamin C.." -KILI-KILI
• "Sige, batihin mo ako.... Sigeee.....BATEEEEEE!!!!!!!" -ITLOG
• "Pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako!" -LIBAG
  
• "Wag mo na akong bilugin.." -KULANGOT
• "Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?" -LEGO
• "Hindi lahat ng dugo puedeng idonate!" - REGLA
• "Sige, kalimutan mo ako. At ilalabas ko ang baho mo!!!" -REXONA

This video was sent by Talia earlier. Next time you say "whatever", do it this way. Cute!

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Becky: The Prankster

Click on the PLAY button.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm really fond of children. I love their cute faces and all the crazy things they do. I blog almost everyday and sometimes twice in less than 12 hours [like today]. I have lots of baby pictures, videos and audios. I might post some of it later on. I've written about Connie from Brit's Got Talent and Pearl the foul-mouthed two-year-old. There's still a lot more I want to share [in case some of you are not as internet savvy as I am] like Marc Yu the piano genius, etc, etc. Here's another one. This is Becky the prankster. She's from Dublin [I love her accent!] and she calls random people or companies for a radio show. She's so funny and smart. The things she say are impromptu! Here's a link for more of her calls. There's still some but I can't find the site anymore. Here's her picture. Pretty girl.

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Pearl Oh Pearl!!!

I can't stop thinking about Pearl. I've watched her videos again and again and again. I can't get enough of her. I've been trying to get a decent picture of her but there's none so I just hit Print Screen and edited the pix on the Good Cop, Baby Cop video. I want to see and write about her more but apparently, she retired, hehehehe. Here are some trivias. Got it from this site.

• The Landlord was posted in early April 2007 to FunnyOrDie, which is a new website founded by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay.
• At the height of its popularity The Landlord was downloaded more than 7 million times in one 24-hour period.
• Adam McKay has directed several of Will Ferrell's movies including Talladega Nights and Anchorman. He also appears in The Landlord video as Ferrell's roommate.
• The FunnyOrDie venture is overseen by the duo's Gary Sanchez Productions, with funding from the venture capital firm Sequoia Partners (which in the past has provided funding for Apple, Google, YouTube and Apple).
• Pearl, the "landlord" in the video, is Adam McKay's own daughter. Pearl's mother and McKay's wife is Shira Piven, the actress sister of Jeremy Piven, star of HBO's Entourage.
• The Landlord has stirred controversy for featuring a toddler swearing, but Adam McKay responded by telling People magazine: "Fortunately she is in this great stage now where she repeats anything you say to her and then forgets it right away, which is key. She has not said the 'B-word' since we shot the thing.
• McKay describes The Landlord as being shot on a whim, as he and Ferrell invited over a friend with a video camera and shot all the footage in just 45 minutes.
• Farrell and McKay see FunnyOrDie.com as a competitor to YouTube, and have instituted a unique rating system that lets viewers elevate or banish user-contributed content by voting on a scale that defines the clips as Immortal, Walking Tall, Kinda Cute, Uh-Oh, or The Crypt.
• McKay has said in interviews that he expects more celebrities from the comedy world to submit content to FunnyOrDie from time to time.
• Creative Artists Agency is also involved in FunnyOrDie.com, and will be reportedly watching the submissions closely in an effort to sign tomorrow's brightest comedians.

This one I got from another site.

At the request of PEOPLE, McKay made Pearl available, via email, for an interview. Her answers were funny, candid – and sounded suspiciously like those of an adult comedy director:

• How old are you, Pearl?

I 2 years old. But when I wear my Dora shirt I look one-and-a-half.

• What are some of your favorite things to do when you not hassling people for the rent?

I like to put my hands in the fountain. I watch Wonderpets. I like to buy old houses and flip them for a profit so I can buy boxes of Gallo wine.

• Are you always so angry?

Will Ferrell no pay rent. I want my money. That's why I mad.

• What makes you laugh?

I like when my big sister Lili do the funny dance. I like when kitty chases string. I like when the sheriff puts peoples stuff in street cause they no pay rent. You pay rent!!

• What do you think of Daddy's friend Will Ferrell? What is he like?

He silly. He have doggies at his house. He also not getting his deposit back for water damage in the hallway.


Here are some of the recordings from The Landlord. Pearl Oh Pearl!!!

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Stay Awake!!!

Woke up at 4pm Friday afternoon last week and survived until the end of work hours at 9am. I craved for sleep but there was a change of plan and most of us wanted to go videoke-ing [again, I'm not sure if there's such a word] so we went to Taiyo and ate breakfast then waited until 11am 'coz the f*ckin' operator at Fisherman's Net wasn't there yet. We agreed on staying there for a couple of hours but 2 became 3 and I didn't care anymore. We belted out songs by Hearts and BeeGees and even Aegis. Yes! Aegis! The local band who popularized Luha, Halik and Basang-Basa Sa Ulan. We were all pissed drunk that 2 of us were already sleeping on the couch of that private room we didn't even care asking how much per hour. I left at about 2 or 3, i can't remember. Went home and took a quick shower then off to Kit Sarap [sister of Sinangag Express] to grab a bite. I had to go home and change my top 'coz I spilled gravy all over my blouse. Did I say we got drunk? Anyway, I met my bestie at SM 'coz he had been waiting for Balls of Fury, which is funny 'coz I remember laughing at a few scenes but I was sleeping for the most part of it. We ate dinner afterwards at Shakey's but I was shivering like crazy and I almost fell off my chair so I walked out on him. I collapsed just as I locked my bedroom door and dropped my bag on the floor. How's that for a weekend starter?

Sunday, went to SM with Talia and watched Wedding Daze. It was an afternoon of eating and laughing. I had to buy a new top at Bench 'coz I spilled rocky road ice cream all over my shirt. Talk about being clumsy for 2 consecutive days. Then I went to my besties house and was quite upset that his mom came home from Bohol. It's his birthday the following day and I planned on staying overnight so I can be the first to greet him. I went home, washed and put on my PJ's when I got a text message saying a GR girl is in labor. So I changed and went off to Cebu Doc. It was the fourth time I saw a friend or relative's baby a few minutes after it was born. The feeling is both special and depressing. Special 'coz it's amazing how that baby was just inside the tummy a few hours back and depressing 'coz I can't help but wonder when I'm gonna have my own. I am 24 and my mom gave birth to me at this age. I have to admit, I cry whenever I see blood coming out of my "vagigi" when I used to cry whenever I don't. Yes, I want to have a child at this point in my life and the father can abandon me for all I care. Sigh.

Today, I went to Khai's house while waiting for my bestie to let me know that he's on his way home from LTO. Then I went to Yellow Cab to buy him a treat and I almost threw my cellphone away when I learned they don't accept credit cards. Then I thought, I haven't fully paid HSBC for my phone [SE Z710i], so I settled for a couple of Marlboro while waiting. I only had P1,200 left and the pizza was almost P500. The taxi fare from Mango Avenue to Lapu2x was about P150 and I remember that it's still Monday so I still have four days before payday. Good thing the cab driver was so interesting to talk to, that for awhile, I forgot that I'll have to starve myself a little the next few days. Another P100 plus for my fare back to the city.. Hmmm, I think I still have P500 left on my ATM account. I got there and watched Jeepers and Creepers II, and The Ring.. with his mom, tsk! I had to leave at 8pm for our Monday potluck dinner which I learned from a text message while I was at the taxi would be at our CEO's house. The dinner then became a meeting and we talked about closing deal/s before December 15. Now, I realize I wouldn't be able to do that if I continue blogging when I'm supposed to work so I gotta go now and grab a cup of coffee first 'coz I'm so f*ckin' sleepy.. So sleepy that I think this rambling doesn't make any sense. It's only 4:56am and wrap up meeting starts at 8am and ends at 9am. Claudine, STAY AWAAAKE!!!

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The Landlord Out Takes

Dammit! I'm so in-love with baby Pearl! I found the video for THE MAKING of The Landlord. I wanna bite and pinch her!!! Thank God my hands are quick on finding ways to download-convert-download files.. Now all her videos are on my phone! I want more!!!

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Where Else?

Yesterday was a busy day, 'nuf said. Been digging up my old files and emails these past few days. I dunno why. Just because. Here's one amusing article. The first one is about foods. Just had pizza as Gem's treat to the team. She got a li'l somethin' somethin' for doing a very good job. Burp!Ü

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The following articles were written by a British journalist stationed in the Philippines .
His observations are so hilarious! These were written in 1999.

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Matter of Taste
By Matthew Sutherland

I have now been in this country for over six years, and consider myself in most respects well assimilated. However, there is one key step on the road to full assimilation, which I have yet to take, and that's to eat BALUT.

The day any of you sees me eating balut, please call immigration and ask them to issue me a Filipino passport. Because at that point there will be no turning back. BALUT, for those still blissfully ignorant non-Pinoys out there, is a fertilized duck egg. It is commonly sold with salt in a piece of newspaper, much like English fish and chips, by street vendors usually after dark, presumably so you can't see how gross it is.

It's meant to be an aphrodisiac, although I can't imagine anything more likely to dispel sexual desire than crunching on a partially formed baby duck swimming in noxious fluid. The embryo in the egg comes in varying stages of development, but basically it is not considered macho to eat one without fully discernable feathers, beak, and claws. Some say these crunchy bits are the best. Others prefer just to drink the so-called 'soup', the vile, pungent liquid that surrounds the aforementioned feathery fetus...excuse me; I have to go and throw up now. I'll be back in a minute.

Food dominates the life of the Filipino. People here just love to eat.

They eat at least eight times a day. These eight official meals are called, in order: breakfast, snacks, lunch, merienda, meriendaceyna, dinner, bedtime snacks and no-one-saw-me-take-that-cookie-from-the-fridge-so-it-doesn't-count.

The short gaps in between these mealtimes are spent eating Sky Flakes from the open packet that sits on every desktop. You're never far from food in the Philippines . If you doubt this, next time you're driving home from work, try this game. See how long you can drive without seeing food and I don't mean a distant restaurant, or a picture of food. I mean a man on the sidewalk frying fish balls, or a man walking through the traffic selling nuts or candy. I bet it's less than one minute.

Here are some other things I've noticed about food in the Philippines :

Firstly, a meal is not a meal without rice - even breakfast. In the UK, I could go a whole year without eating rice. Second, it's impossible to drink without eating. A bottle of San Miguel just isn't the same without gambas or beef tapa. Third, no one ventures more than two paces from their house without baon (food in small container) and a container of something cold to drink. You might as well ask a Filipino to leave home without his pants on. And lastly, where I come from, you eat with a knife and fork. Here, you eat with a spoon and fork. You try eating rice swimming in fish sauce with a knife.

One really nice thing about Filipino food culture is that people always ask you to SHARE their food. In my office, if you catch anyone attacking their baon, they will always go, "Sir! KAIN TAYO!" ("Let's eat!"). This confused me, until I realized that they didn't actually expect me to sit down and start munching on their boneless bangus. In fact, the polite response is something like, "No thanks, I just ate." But the principle is sound - if you have food on your plate, you are expected to share it, however hungry you are, with those who may be even hungrier. I think that's great!

In fact, this is frequently even taken one step further. Many Filipinos use "Have you eaten yet?" ("KUMAIN KA NA?") as a general greeting, irrespective of time of day or location.

Some foreigners think Filipino food is fairly dull compared to other Asian cuisines. Actually lots of it is very good: Spicy dishes like Bicol Express (strange, a dish named after a train); anything cooked with coconut milk; anything KINILAW; and anything ADOBO. And it's hard to beat the sheer wanton, cholesterolic frenzy of a good old-fashioned LECHON de leche (roast pig) feast. Dig a pit, light a fire, add 50 pounds of animal fat on a stick, and cook until crisp. Mmm, mmm... you can actually feel your arteries constricting with each successive mouthful.

I also share one key Pinoy trait ---a sweet tooth. I am thus the only foreigner I know who does not complain about sweet bread, sweet burgers, sweet spaghetti, sweet banana ketchup, and so on. I am a man who likes to put jam on his pizza. Try it!

It's the weird food you want to avoid. In addition to duck fetus in the half-shell, items to avoid in the Philippines include pig's blood soup (DINUGUAN); bull's testicle soup, the strangely-named "SOUP NUMBER FIVE" (I dread to think what numbers one through four are); and the ubiquitous, stinky shrimp paste, BAGOONG, and it's equally stinky sister, PATIS. Filipinos are so addicted to these latter items that they will even risk arrest or deportation trying to smuggle them into countries like Australia and the USA , which wisely ban the importation of items you can smell from more than 100 paces.

Then there's the small matter of the purple ice cream. I have never been able to get my brain around eating purple food; the ubiquitous UBE leaves me cold.

And lastly on the subject of weird food, beware: that KALDERETANG KAMBING (goat) could well be KALDERETANG ASO (dog)...

The Filipino, of course, has a well-developed sense of food. Here's a typical Pinoy food joke: "I'm on a seafood diet. What's a seafood diet?" "When I see food, I eat it!"

Filipinos also eat strange bits of animals --- the feet, the head, the guts, etc., usually barbecued on a stick. These have been given witty names, like "ADIDAS" (chicken's feet); "KURBATA" (either just chicken's neck, or "neck and thigh" as in "neck-tie"); "WALKMAN" (pigs ears); "PAL" (chicken wings); "HELMET" (chicken head); "IUD" (chicken intestines), and BETAMAX" (video-cassette-like blocks of animal blood). Yum, yum. Bon appetit.

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A Rhose, by Any Other Name
By Matthew Sutherland

"A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches"-- (Proverbs 22:1)

WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, one of the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since. The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom , we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we tend, Iam glad to say, to lose them.

The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. Fifty-five-year-olds colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech ech. Here, however, no one bats an eyelid.

Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call "door-bell names".

These are nicknames that sound like -well, doorbells. There are millions of them. Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be, and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly appointed chief of police has a doorbell name Ping . None of these doorbell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear.

Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was called Bing, replied, "because my brother is called Bong". Faultless logic. Dong, of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I come from "dong" is a slang word for well; perhaps "talong" is the best Tagalog equivalent.

Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or Ning-Ning. The secretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the "squared" symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while.

Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy.

More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names get worse the more kids there are-best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy).

Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip). The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver.

That's another thing I'd never seen before coming to Manila -- taxis with the driver's kids' names on the trunk.

Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the "composite" name. This includes names like Jejomar (for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao , believe it or not). That's a bit like me being called something like "Engscowani" (for England , Scotland , Wales and Northern Ireland ). Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not.

And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn, Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)?

How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names.

Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the unbelievably named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be true?

Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin?

Where else but the Philippines !

Note: Philippines has a senator named Joker, and it is his legal name.

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