Rock On!

I was blog-hopping yesterday and saw a link to this site. I thought it'd be sweet to create a slideshow video for the team. Here it is. Hope you like it!

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Maloobey or Malubay?

Another Filipino on American Idol Season 7 [Miami]. Not so like Renaldo Lapuz though. This gal can sing. And she has indeed some similarities with Jasmine Trias. Will she go farther than Jasmine? I dunno, bro. Let's wait and see..

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Omaha Here!

I miss hearing that on the bridge! At least twice a day, there used to be a roll call for all the sites of our account. You'd hear, "Albuquerque here!" - "Cebu here!" and Mervin's "Makati PRESENT!" LOL. Anyway, American Idol Season 7 Audition went to Omaha, Nebraska and here are some of their talents.

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A Different Breed

Yesterday, I said "I still have something I wanted to blog about but I don't feel like writing anything serious at the moment. Maybe later.." Well, Talia got to it first. Boy I'm glad she did. I couldn't have written it more precisely than she did. What can I do, she was LaSalle-Bacolod's school paper, The Spectrum, editor-in-chief for a couple of years. We were both thinking as we were talking last Sunday that this would be a good topic to blog about. So here's what she said..

last sunday, i had a weekly date with my friend Claudine. as we were on our way out of the mall, she pointed out two women walking towards us. the women were...well, plain. they were in their late 30's, wore stuffy, worn-out clothes, and carried several grocery bags. and Claudine said, "see those women? those plain, haggard-looking women, are already married."
and, i thought, "oh hell."

aside from shopping for shoes and wallets, getting our nails painted, and eating till our flys pop off, claudine and i sometimes have these "epiphanic conversations" (or is it "epiphanous?") during our dates. last sunday's was one of those. we were both wondering why these women, the kind who sell fish and vegetables at the wet market, manage to find themselves married at their early 20's, with at least 2 kids by their 30's, while we who (modesty aside) look and smell better, are still single at our age. could it be that we are just too choosy or have too high standards? don't get me wrong, i sometimes envy these women. because despite the monotony of their daily life, they seem to be genuinely happy.

i wonder what it would be like to have simple goals as a woman. to learn to cook, wash and iron the laundry, and clean the house at a young age. to finish at least high school or a vocational college course. to find a man with any job and wed at 20. to have at least three kids by the time you hit 30. and grow old watching the cycle of life coming to a full circle.

i come from a totally different breed of women. my mother is a housewife but she ran her own business. my paternal grandmother and my aunts were all schoolteachers who balanced their careers and raising their families. one sister is a nurse who married in her late 20's and has one child. my other sister is a career woman who is still happily single and already in her 40's.

i'm turning 30 this year. and i'm still single and unattached; by choice and circumstance, i must say. i just don't feel compelled to get married and have children just because i've reached a certain age. although having a child would be fulfilling, i just don't feel that i have to be married in order for my life to be complete. i enjoy solitude; although there are times, admittedly, that one longs for someone to share the cold, lonely nights with. but since i've been working at a call center for the past three years, i really haven't had any problems looking for someone to spend my nights with. now, lest you and your dirty minds jump to conclusions, i spend my nights working with 200 crazy call center agents. i honestly don't think claudine and i and millions of other independent and single women in the world are missing out on life's sweetness just because we aren't wives or mothers yet. not to say that the wives and mothers have it bad though. it's just that we chose different paths. bottomline is, we're women who made our choices. and that definitely doesn't make us the weaker sex.

Touché.

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Different Faces

I thought of creating a poster of GR peeps candid shots while waiting for a client callback and I'm very pleased with the outcome. My officemates loved it too. Why not? It's fun to see our faces when we're not aware that there's a cam.

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Isn't It Moronic?

Saturday: Alien vs. Predator - Requiem with the BF. Not as spectacular as I thought it would be but morbid anyway so I kinda liked it.

Sunday: Usual lagaw with Talia and my Ryan's grandma's birthday [happy bday Manet..Ü]. I had to endure several hours of no smoking 'coz he fuckin' tore it to pieces. The price I have to pay for love, sigh. But being the wise monkey that I am, I was able to hide one stick before I gave him the pack. One stick in 18 hours wasn't bad, hehehehehe.

Monday: I Could Never Be Your Woman by myself. It was a feel-good romantic/comedy film. I loved Paul Rudd's character! His relationship with Michell Pfeiffer reminds me so much of mine with Ryan. It's fun and laughter is the main spice of the relationship. And Saoirse Ronan's songs rock!

Moronic

The Britney Song

I still have something I wanted to blog about but I don't feel like writing anything serious at the moment. Maybe later..

---> It's almost 4am and we were all sleepy. It's not surprising though 'coz it's Monday and we just can't get away from the first-day-of-the-week syndrome. So we all decided to do a little Ice Breaker since we haven't done that in a long time. It wasn't as fun as before but at least we shook the sleepiness away. It's HERE.

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They're Back!

I blogged about them last December and yesterday, I saw them guesting on The Ellen Degeneres show [taped last December 4, 2007]. They're John and Michelle Brubaker. Lovely couple!

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Aaawww...

American Idol Season 7 auditions headed to South Carolina. Not so good though. Here's a recap video.

Don't you just love Nicole Richie? I really like her personality. Watching her in The Simple Life is always entertaining. The crazy things she say and do are really hilarious. Anyway, today I saw her beau, Joel Madden's [Good Charlotte] official blog about their baby at PerezHilton.com. It's nice to know that someone loves Nicole who many consider a waste. I mean, with all the drug addiction and eating disorder issues thrown at her. I think Joel Madden is hot! It's a breath of fresh air to know that a music artist like him is not all about sex, drugs and alcohol. This actually sounds very sincere. Me like it. So sweet.

"Harlow.

January 23, 2008 at 3:14 pm

She’s already growing to fast! So I am at home writing this blog before i head to the DCMA store, and then the DEAD EXEC studio to work. I swear it’s so hard to leave during the day, but always so rewarding to come home to the little family. I’ve always been a guy who loves to love.Probably one of the things that define me outside of my work is LOVE. I had no idea what love even was until Harlow came along.

Me and her mother feel like the luckiest two people alive right now. This time in our life has been amazing. We both look at our little girl every single moment everyday and know there is nothing we wouldn’t do to protect her and her perfect little innocence. It seems like you turn on the tv, or get online and its all bad news.

We dont want her to know any of that yet. I actually never want her to know any of the pain and suffering we see out in the world everyday, or how harsh people can be as a result of it. Having this baby has really made me realize we all start out that way, then somewhere along the way something happens and people go one way or the other. But all started out sweet and innocent just like my little daughter. The world could really make you bitter if you let it, but thats where music, and art come in to save the day.

You’ve got to surround yourself with the things you love. The whole point to DCMA and this site is a bunch of us friends doing what we love, surrounding ourselves with positivity. I want my kid to grow up around that.

My heart goes out to Heath ledger’s family. Too young. too soon. too loved to be gone. It almost seems pointless to say this with the state of the media today, but i hope people will respect what his child and her mother are going thru right now and give them space. May God be with them.

So this one was especially long today on the writing side, i apologize it all just got me thinking."

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Lo and Behold

American Idol Season 7's third stop is San Diego, CA. The featured hopefuls were surprisingly good. I can't wait to watch them on stage! Here are those who stood out. I love love love the guy who auditioned with his cutie son!



TRON days are over. I've been out of the team for 6 months now but in my heart, I still am a TRONie. So sad.. Check this out..

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Waaaaaah!

He's hitting the limelight bigtime! Tabang mga langit! Fox News?! Waaaaaah!



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The Perfect Man

I kept thinking about reasons why I should pick a fight with my BF earlier. Just for kicks. Yeah, I'm crazy. Then I remembered this old email and thought I'd end up losing him if I give in to this stupid and random urge to find reasons to fight. Anyway, this should be a wake-up call to idealistic women out there. There's no such thing as a perfect man. Even my dad cheated on my mom at one point. I'm not bitter. I'm just realistic.

If you insist that there is, this is what's gonna happen to you..

Oh, by the way, Heath Ledger is dead. And Brad Renfro too. Read more HERE.

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Genius!

How can I fuckin' get this song out of my head?! This is my 3rd blog about the person behind all this fad, waaaaaah! Faith sent an email to a client last Friday and guess what was the subject? I AM YOUR BROTHER! I dunno what got into her. She realized her mistake only after going thru her sent items. Just now I learned that some people actually went out of their ways to remix the song. Here's a couple of versions but I'm pretty sure there will be a lot more to come. Whoever thought of this was a fuckin' genius. We all wanted to sleep awhile ago but everybody was so pumped up when I played it and heard it on all of the 6 speakers in our tiny office. You rock Renaldo! [My dad and bro's name are Reynaldo, whaaaaaat?!] However, I wish you didn't make this so catchy that I can't get it off my mind!!

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Sinulog '08

I came here July 2004, my first Sinulog [2005] was spent with a friend from Bacolod who was also a relocator, Mayang and Ryan, who was then a stranger. Sinulog '06 was also with Mayang and Ryan. Sinulog '07, Mayang was already back in Bacolod [I think] and I spent it with Ryan at home. This year was a total bummer. I slept the whole night last Saturday after watching a movie. Sunday, I had breakfast with Joedel who was here with his family and I watched a movie again in the afternoon with Talia. Then we headed to Ayala to meet with Joedel, Gwenk and Pang.. to catch the fireworks display but to our dismay, we didn't get to see it 'coz it felt like we were in the US waiting in line for a table in a restaurant. And we had to walk from Ayala to I dunno what's that place. I was so tired and grumpy. I just slept. Before the end of the night though, I received a huge news about one of my closest friends Fahrein. OMG! I don't want to elaborate 'coz she might get in trouble but, waaaaaaah! I'm so happy for you. Anyway, maybe I'm getting old. Ryan [the officemate] texted me Saturday and Sunday to party but the thought of all the sweaty [and maybe smelly] bodies all squeezing in a small place makes me want to just crawl under my blanket and sleep the night away. My BF went out with his friends and it was okay. I wanted to be alone anyway. Oh, about the movie that I watched? The Heartbreak Kid. It was sooo cool that I watched it twice, hehehehe. Gotta work now.

IMDb: Eddie is forty, owns a sporting-goods store, and is still single. After watching his ex-fiancée walk down the aisle, he meets Lila, an environmental researcher, who seems too good to be true. Pressured by his father and best friend, Eddie pops the question and marries Lila after only 6 weeks. However, as he almost instantly discovers, his new bride is a nightmare with more baggage than he can handle. She's immature, foolish, a monster in bed, owes a tremendous amount of money to various sources, and as it turns out, is only a volunteer and doesn't actually have a job. While on their honeymoon in Cabo, Eddie meets Miranda, a down-to-earth lacrosse coach who is visiting with her family. Sparks fly, and Eddie falls for her. Now comes the tricky part of breaking off his marriage to crazy Lila, all while keeping the truth from Miranda about why he's in Cabo in the first place...

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I Love You, Bro

Dammit! We can't stop singing this song by American Idol Season 7 hopeful (drumroll please).. RENALDO LAPUZ!

I am your brother
Your best friend forever
Singing the songs
The music that you love
Brothers til the end of time
Together or not
You’re always in my heart
You hurt your feelings
And you will rain on mine
I love you brother

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I Dunno, Bro!

The last few days had been crazy. Wait, that's an understatement. I thought what happened yesterday was the worst, but nothing compares to the news we received earlier today. For those who have heard us talk about our company, you should have an idea. It's eating me up inside. At this point, I can't openly talk about it as the issue has not been totally put to rest. I wish I didn't have to feel this bad. Six months into this company and I have completely fallen in-love with it.. with the opportunity to work with amazing people and it sucks to think about what's gonna happen in the next few days. Aaarrrggghhh! The only consolation that I have is the determination of the people who are still here and are willing to work things out. If you're thinking about moving to a start-up company, think again. I never thought it would be this tough. Sigh. I swore.. no, I promised the team I'll stop blogging while I'm in the office but I feel that this is the only way that I can somehow ease my anxiety. Ikadlaw ang libog as Ilonggos would always say when faced with a problem. It means laugh your worries away. And I have Ryan, the perverted step-son of Satan (who's now sitting next to me) to take care of that as he always has something to say about anything - read: bastos. Bahala na si Batman. We repeatedly asked ourselves earlier "what now?" and we can only say the company's generic answer "I dunno bro".. As I look around the office though, I can't help but smile with the thought that I'm surrounded by people that are all but quitters. But I'm just wondering, if winners never quit and quitters never win.. who the hell said quit while you're ahead?

On the lighter side, American Idol Season 7 has kicked off and the auditions are still very entertaining, especially the one in Dallas, TX. Here's my bet so far.

Kady Malloy

And here are those that made me roll on my bed laughing..

Tammy Tuzinski

Douglas Davidson

And definitely not the least.. (is he Filipino?)

Renaldo Lapuz

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Crazy/Beautiful

IMDb: When fate steps in and brings together two high school seniors from opposite sides of the track, it's something crazy/beautiful in this sexy, fun and energetic story of first love. Nicole (Kirsten Dunst) is the 17-year-old troubled daughter of a wealthy congressman who never met a rule she didn't break. Carlos (Jay Hernandez) is a grade A student with big dreams who endures a two-hour bus ride every morning to attend high school in an upscale L.A. neighbourhood. Their innocent flirtations quickly develop into passionate love, but Nicole's self-destructive behaviour threatens their relationship and puts Carlos' promising future in jeopardy. Will their intense passion keep them together despite the objections of their families or will Carlos be forced to plan his future without Nicole? Surprises lie at every turn in this wildly seductive and critically acclaimed drama.

I was channel browsing earlier while waiting for my BF who promised to drop by before going to eTel for his contract signing [yey!!! he's now officially a call boy/tech support agent, a profession he detested but got into because of my persuasion] when I suddenly felt the urge to watch this movie despite my dislike of Kirsten Dunst. I haven't heard of this movie before and it's only now that I learned it got so many good reviews. I thought it would just be another chick flick but soon I realized there was more to it than the usual boy-meets-girl story. There were heartbreaking lines [especially when Nicole talks to her dad] that made me cry so hard.

Nicole: "Why do you hate me so much? How could you tell the only person in the world that I love, that I care about so much, how could you tell him to stay away from me? Do you think that the only thing I'll ever do to someone is screw them up? That I'm not worth loving? "

Nicole: "Sometimes you look at me like you wish I wasn't there... like I'd just disappear. And it hurts so much..."

Nicole: "I know I'm not the easiest person to love... but could you try anyway?"

Nicole: "There are millions of people out there. But in the end it all comes down to one. I still panic sometimes, forget to breathe. But I know there's something beautiful in all my imperfections. A beauty in which he held out for me to see, a strength that can never be taken away."

Nicole: "I want to be good for you."
Carlos [HOT!!!]: "You are good for me."
Nicole: "Not if I keep taking you away from everything you've worked so hard for. I want to make things better for once, not worst. Cause I really want to be with you, I can't keep running away from things."
Carlos: "I'm here for you.
Nicole: "I know you are."

It's not gonna feel the same reading it as to actually seeing the movie and understanding the whole story. I feel like crying reading these lines all over again. This is now officially under my all-time fave movies!

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The Modern 3-Year Old

Got this from my bro's phone. This is Cybill, our 3-yr. old cousin. We don't know who taught her this [maybe my naughty bro who just won't admit] but she came home from school one day, took off her uniform, and begged my bro to take a video saying she'll dance like a boldstar. So hilarious and cute! Ü They're [both bro's, B.boy and Martoi] talking in Ilonggo but i'm sure Bisaya's can understand it. The quality is bad 'coz B.boy was laughing and can't get his hand steady.. Click on the picture.

I'm supposed to be at home watching TV but I'm here in the office instead 'coz I slept the whole afternoon 'til evening yesterday. I wasn't able to work as what we've promised to do this year - work a few hours during weekends. The girls here in the office went to Ayala yesterday after work to unwind and I was so fuckin' tired when I got home. Earlier I went to SM with Talia and she gave me her Christmas gift since I haven't seen her since I left for Bacolod. It's a customized Starbucks mug with our pictures. I felt guilty 'coz I didn't get her a gift so I treated her to lunch instead. I better start working now 'coz I have a lot of things to cover up for last night. Char!

---> I just have to say this, I think I'm obsessed with Ellen Degeneres. I think I've blogged about her more than I blogged about my love Adam Sandler. Anyway, here's another 3-year old who graced Ellen's show. Her cuteness is killing me!

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Eureka!

I first saw this at my neighbor's house in Nivel Hills three years ago. It was a calendar cut-out and I fell in-love with it almost instantly. It was taken by the famous Aussie photographer, Anne Geddes. I was looking for clients in the online media industry and I stumbled upon amazing advertisements. It reminded me of this photograph and yay! I found a copy!

I felt guilty 'coz I forgot that it was my pretty sister's [Cristy Lane] birthday yesterday. She's already 15 years old. I had to send her multiple text messages assuring her that I love her and I was so stupid to forget. My being too occupied with work worries just won't be enough of an excuse. Sigh. No reply yet. =( Since I've moved here in Cebu, I haven't been at home during her birthdays. Hope she reads this and realizes Manang Ging's failure to greet her at 12 midnight [as I've done consistently since her 1st] doesn't mean I love her less. Wav u Cristaloy!

MANANG TIPOT AND LANGGA CRISTALOY's ALBUM

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Almost.. But Not Quite

This is an article I found on my "Mushy" folder in YahooMail. Gwenk and I were trading romantic articles yesterday after I found myself close to tears when I read this line from her blog --- "After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in the truest sense, but perfect--- for YOU!"

I am currently happy in-love but lately I had been into mushy things like articles or songs or whatever when I can't even relate to them. Anyway, I kept this article because before this "yet to be a happy ending" love affair, I felt a certain connection with whoever wrote this. For those who know me or who had been reading my blogs, you would agree that I am just the same as the author before I decided to post a taken sticker on my forehead. It's kinda long and mostly in Tagalog but you're not obliged to read it. Here goes..

•:*'""*:•. *•-:¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•*.•:*'""*:•.•:*'""*:•. *•-:¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•*.•:*'""*:•.

"Parang kayo, pero hindi*"

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends." They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates,
flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion.
Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya? "He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out. They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero
di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro." Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya... almost, but not quite.

•:*'""*:•. *•-:¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•*.•:*'""*:•.•:*'""*:•. *•-:¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•*.•:*'""*:•.

It's not an almost but not quite ending for me. My being contented with being just the smitten bestfriend with benefits paid off.

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Glogster

Gwenk found something really nice yesterday. I wouldn't be surprised if soon, people will go gaga over Glogster. Whoever thought of this was a genius! Here's a couple of samples. I've somehow found a way to post it here without taking up the whole page.






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A Passing Thought

I wonder why I don't feel anything special now that I'm finally in a relationship. I mean I'm happy.. but I've always been despite my life's drama. My previous [and first] relationship had been unusual. This one started the same. A friends with benefits set-up. When I realized that I was in-love with my semi-ex, all I can think of was how different it would be if we'd take our relationship to the next level. Same with this. Now.. after all the waiting, I finally have somebody to call my boyfriend yet I don't feel anything special. Maybe because we've said we love each other quite a few times in the past [the first time was sweet though..Ü] and the only thing that has changed now is that we openly say it and as often as we could. We still hurt and curse each other [playfully].. and we still fart at each other's faces. I still can comfortably pee with the restroom's door open. I can burp or snore as loudly as I can without worrying I might turn him off. Nothing.. nothing's changed. Or maybe because we're abnormal. Most couples takes away inhibitions only after they've commenced [wow, deep.. LOL I can't think of any other word] the relationship.

I've detested commitment before because I felt there's a big difference between "can I" and "I will". Do you get what I mean? It's different when you tell the other person that you're going somewhere with whoever rather than asking permission. Back in college, whenever my semi-ex disagrees when I tell him what I'm gonna do, where and who I'm gonna be with.. 90% of the time I say "who the fuck do you think you are?! my parents said yes, so who are you to stop me?!"

Eventually, I realized I needed somebody to help me run my life. Not in the same way that my mom or my friends would. And because I fuckin' agreed to be attached, I only have until February 2 to quit smoking. Good luck Claudine!

Hmmm.. I really don't know what I'm getting at or what I'm talking about. I just felt like blogging about this passing thought. But in case my BF [ugh, so awkward!] reads this, don't get me wrong.. I'm happy! I just wish we had decided on this sooner so I experienced what I'd only read or heard about. I've never experienced courtship. Wooing to get laid, yes! Stupid me jumps right into bed. But then again, I guess this is better.. 'coz by now, I know him so well and our being officially together is just the frosting on the cake. So mushy.. but true. And contradicting? Been here in the office for 13 hours, I need to get some sleep.

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Hit Me!

I don't know why I suddenly lost my hit counter. Now I'm back to zero. Ugh! Last I checked it was already at 3K. Why does it matter? I want to assure myself that my blogs are not as useless as I originally thought it would be. For once, I have a blog site where I'm not the only one visiting it. Tsk tsk tsk.

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Punk'd!

This was my former officemate, ex-TRONie like me, Aubrey's blog. I called her earlier to source out names [hint: her hubby] and companies that I can probably contact. They're based in Atlanta, GA. I pretended to be a recruiter who saw her profile online and I asked her if it's true that she was a call girl - Ryan [the officemate] suggested agogo [a go go] dancer but I thought that was just so Pinoy. There was a slight pause and then she went off and corrected me saying she previously worked in a call center [obviously irritated]. I couldn't hold it any longer so I laughed and broke my bluff. It's still the same old shriek only Aubrey can pull off.. or maybe Cindy too. It's good to keep in touch with old friends. However, this time she got punk'd! LOL.

•:*'""*:•. *•-:¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•*.•:*'""*:•.•:*'""*:•. *•-:¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•*.•:*'""*:•.

i just got a spoof call from miss claudine santillan!! nalingaw kow!!! binuang kaayo mong ryan ha! LOL

here goes :

claudine : can i speak with aubrey?

ako : this is aubrey.

cya : i read from your resume online (or email ba to, haha) that you were a call girl before?

ako : what?! (i'm thinking, where the hell did you get my number and what are you saying?!)

cya : (she repeated her last statement)

by this time na imberna na ko!! LOL

ako : no, no, i worked for a call center before. (as calmly as i can.. :p)

on the other end of the line, i heard nga nibahakhak na ang lady. na confuse na ko!!

cya : HOI aubrey, c claudine ni.

hahahahaha i got PUNKe'D!!

LINTI ka claudine! :D ---> ..HMMM.. I WONDER WHO DOESN'T KNOW I'M ILONGGA?..

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Does It Really Matter?

I've been thinking about this topic since December 22 on our way to Bacolod. I travelled with Gwenk and her cousin and his wife, who I later found out had been together for a long time but haven't been blessed with a child. As I sat at the backseat looking at them, I can't help but ask how they can still be happy? It amazed me as I saw contentment and happiness despite the one thing that's supposedly what binds a couple more than a marriage contract. Questions like "is it worth it losing the one I love just because he/she can't give me a child?" or "would I be happier with the father/mother of my child even if I love somebody else?" I've been wanting to have a baby for almost 3 years now. I dunno if there's something wrong with me or is it the fact that I work nights, I drink, I smoke and my eating habit is beyond normal. Thinking of that wonderful couple made me realize that two people in-love can still be happy even without a child.. and I can only hope if things gets worse and I find out I really can't have one of my own, I can genuinely say that I'm okay.

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Try It!

While checking on updates from friends who I haven't been in contact with during the holidays, I found this old blog of Thea and thought it'd be cool to try this one as well. It's senseless but it's kinda fun. Try it..

• YOUR NAME ---> CLAUDINE MARIE DAMALERIO SANTILLAN
  
• YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name,plus izzle) ---> CLAIZZLE
• YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color and fave animal) ---> GREEN DOLPHIN [yooot!]
• YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name) ---> DAMALERIO QUIRINO [wtf!]
• YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of your mom's maiden name) ---> SANCLMAH [can you fuckin' pronounce it?!]
• SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink) ---> BLACK COFFEE [like Thea's.. it doesn't sound like a superhero's name but it fits.. coffee is black]
• IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 2nd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name) ---> LNIAUCH [tongue twister?!]
• WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (father's middle name) ---> LUCERO
  
• GOTH NAME: (3rd favorite color, and one of the name of your pet) ---> YELLOW GIGI [it's getting worse.. good thing this is the last]

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Finally!

Finally..

• I have completely uploaded the Christmas Party pictures and it's HERE.
• I'm back at the office and was able to upload what's left of the Bacolod vacation pictures before I accidentally deleted everything.
  
• I had my camera sent back to the manufacturer to see what's wrong with it.
• I'm back at work and it's better than ever.
• After almost three years of fooling around each other, Ryan [the bestie] and I decided to take our relationship to the next level. So friends, I am now officially in a relationship!Ü

It's indeed a happy new year!

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