Regrets

Found this at PartyBacolod.com. I dunno where they got this or if this was actually written by a real person. I gotta go get a cigarette break.. This is heartbreaking. I can only wish Carlo and Amber the best..

Hubby's Regrets After the Glorietta Blast

Good day everyone,

I wish I were writing under different circumstances. I would like to inform you that my wife Leslie Cruz was part of the casualties in the Glorietta 2 Mall bombing in Makati City, Philippines. She was supposed to have a minor out patient surgery at Makati Medical Center at 230pm. I had taken a leave from work to accompany her there. We dropped off our daughter, Amber, at my parents place in QC to babysit at around 10am. We then proceeded to Makati and was there at 1230pm. Since she had been fasting in preparation for her procedure, she wanted to move ar ound and listen to some music while I grabbed a bite to eat. We parked at the basement of Park Square 2, and headed for the Glorietta 2 entrance. We parted at the top of the escalator, she turned right towards Filbar's while I went left towards the restaurants. That was the last time I would see her. Around 120pm, she had called me so that we can meet at the Glorietta 2 exit just in time to make her appointment. As I made my way there from Glorietta 1 through the connecting hallways, and was about to turn the corner, I heard 2 deep thumps and the shock-wave from the blast hit me. At that moment my heart dropped as I knew that the origin of the blast came from the same place where we were supposed to meet. I tried getting to where my wife was, but the dust was too much and it was as if I was staring at a white wall. I still tried to convince myself that she was able to make it out, and that after ringing her mobile without a response only meant that she dropped it in the confusion. After 6 hours of searching from Makati Med. to Ospital ng Makati, the blast site, and back again to MMC - with the help of all the people I could get hold of, that I was able to get confirmation in what the state of my wife was. My Dad and Uncle signaled me in from the ER of MMC. My Uncle (who's a doctor) asked me to describe Leslie's appearance to another group of doctors. I saw in the eyes of one that the description made sense. Instead of confirming it to me, they huddled together, then brought me to a small examination room. It was only through a digital camera that I was able to confirm (and deny) that she was indeed gone. I have so many regrets. I should have met her sooner. I should have ran instead of a brisk walk. I should have not chose to park where I did. I should have braved the dust and went in the blast site. I should have ... Today's the 4th day. It is still terribly difficult to breathe, let alone wake up realizing that your source of strength, your best friend doesn't lie beside you on your bed. That my deepest worry is when Amber starts asking for her Mama. I am glad that Amber's too young to understand the loss and pain. In time I would like to tell her the details of how her mother died, but more importantly I would like to raise her as how her mother lived – a loving person, strong willed, decisive, caring, and nurturing. She has always cared for her family and friends, and sacrfied her career for being a full time mom and home maker. As with all couples we had our ups and downs - none of which I regret not going through. The sweet is never as sweet without the sour. For almost 4 years of marriage, we've finally hit our balance in life only to be taken away in an instant. I have no regrets about our marriage. She has loved me and Amber beyond her capacity. I will always love her. It is my first time to write to egroup as I've lurked and watched emails being sent to and fro. All I want now is that for each of the couples here is to cherish each moment that we spend with our loved ones. Pretty Simple to say, very easy to take for granted. Thank you all for the prayers. I would still like to ask you to please include Leslie in them until her 40th day so that the path to God's kingdom is well lit and she is no longer in the dark.

Sincerely,
Carlo Cruz

HOME

Coffee Break

Had coffee with Khai again earlier today and she told me about her Friendster blog. Below is the unedited copy. To Khai.. I know how to take care of my friends so this thank you, though appreciated, wouldn't have been necessary. Worry not that she would do something against you. She'll be stupid if she'd take out her anger on you when it was my decision to write about it. I take full responsibility for everything that I said. I was being professional when I didn't do anything about what she did to me back then. I was paid to do a job in PS, not to worry about disturbed people like her. Now that we're not directly working with each other, she can do whatever she wants and I'll be here waiting. Besides, if she's professional and educated as she probably will claim she is, she would be wise not to touch you, 'coz after all.. she's a supervisor. Ooopppsss, I mean YOUR supervisor.Ü

its my fault.
i should have shut up when i was told to do so but i couldn't, considering the fact that i was hurt to begin with, plus the fact that its my name that's being tarnished with the stuff that has been coming out.
i had to tell someone who could relate and so i told Claudine.
and i thank her for coming to my aid when i needed it. i guess its because she knows that whatever little things i do to avenge myself would still be negligible. it still won't be as much of an impact to the person concerned.
although i know that if the person concerned would learn about this there will be a big mess and i will be in great trouble, i am still thankful that Clau stood up for me when no one else did.
i did not really expect that Clau will do this. the last time i checked, she really just kept everything to herself as much as she can. i guess there will always come a point in one's life that one will let everything out to relieve one's self. i am scared, not because i am a coward but because i will also have to face the "wrath of the devil". its complicated but the people who know about what's going on know what i am talking about and what i am about to face. its like waiting for an inevitable execution.
still...
i thank you Clau, for standing by my side and coming to my defense.
till the next time we meet for coffee...

By the way, Happy Halloween everybody! Nobody was allowed to enter the office earlier without any costume. Click on the picture below for more of our "pecture-pecture". We also had our special ice breaker, Winker. That was fun! Again, Happy Halloween!Ü

HOME

Beaches

IMDb: A privileged rich debutante and a cynical struggling entertainer share a turbulent, but strong childhood friendship over the years.

Talia and I went to SM last Sunday but since I've watched almost all movies there and I watched Stardust again last Saturday with Joedel who was assigned here to lecture for a few days, we decided to spend the afternoon at Starbucks. We sat there for about 2 hours and can't think of any interesting topic and the magazines that we got were old so we decided to head off to her place while I wait for 6pm to meet up with my officemates at Ayala [a newbie invited us for a night of eating, drinking and sing-all-you-can since it was their town's fiesta-Consolacion, pictures to be posted in the next few days ---> 10.30.2007: Here it is.]. We wanted to watch The Buzz but she saw her VCD copy of Beaches and she told me it's one of her all-time favorite movies. A few minutes into it and I was already hooked that I completely forgot that my officemates were waiting for me. I laughed at how absurd the clothes and hair were back in the 80's. By the end of the movie, I was busy wiping my tears off and I cursed Talia 'coz I could have borrowed the CD and watch it alone at home and cry my heart out without anyone seeing me. I was deeply moved by the friendship shared by CC and Hill that I wanted to break the TV when the latter died. It's heartbreaking to be slapped with the truth that in this world, nothing is permanent and we can lose the ones we love anytime. It's kinda mushy to say things like this but really, it made me realize a lot of things like consider patching the gap between me and my father. It's too complicated to discuss and most of my friends have advised me to do something about it but I always tell them they don't understand me. Hopefully, I can come up with decision in time for his birthday on November 15.

HOME

I OWN YOU!

I had coffee earlier with a former officemate, Khai and heard stories about the person who singled me out from among her many friends to be the subject of her angst. SHE CAN READ THIS FOR ALL I CARE. I kept my silence but I'll talk just so I can totally put it all behind. I also want to do this for Khai. Hurt me and I wouldn't mind as long it's not physical but hurt my friend/s and.. and.. I'll give you a long tongue lashing. It happened not so long ago and I still remember the satisfaction I get whenever she does something [supposedly to piss me off] and I'd be oblivious, I know that'll make her mad all the more. I've already decided to put away thoughts of clarifying the reason why. I've tried settling it in a professional way but she refused. I heard several unreasonable reasons and I can't help but laugh thinking there's a person who'd go into extremes [read: lame and childish] to get somebody out of her life. It had been easier if she just told me to stay away but she chose to do it the hard way. Through it all, I found out who my friends really are and I have her to thank for that. Khai told me she and another friend had been "victimized" by this person. Even her own barkada. Now everybody seems to be mad at her. I pity her but I'd be a hypocrite if I won't admit that I so wanted to say "Bleeeh!" right to her face. In fact, I didn't have to wait for this to happen 'coz the fact that I'm not as bothered as she is by each other's presence is sweet victory in itself.

A few months back, I got a text message from an unlisted number with all the curses I can think of. There were several exchange of messages. Insults from that end and questions from mine. I had absolutely no idea about her accusations. SHE SAID that my so-called friends are not really my friends and were just putting up faces. I could have said "you're only still friends with them because they don't want to get into your bad side and be treated this way" but during that time, I was still unaware of who she really was until somebody confirmed it. I can't think of a time when I wronged her. I asked my supervisor's help to set-up a meeting and as I've said earlier, she refused. I replied and told her what I show my so-called friends as she calls it, are true and if they think otherwise, then it's not my problem anymore.. I have others.. NOW, where are her friends? She drove them away too. SHE SAID I'm pathetic 'coz during my last few months in PS, I only had the newbies for friends and I didn't care 'coz I enjoyed their company and had new-found friendships. NOW, almost all her friends had ganged up on her so she has no choice but be with newbies too - people who are still unaware of what she really is. SHE SAID I talk about work all the time and I'm very desperate to be called a techy. I told her my PS life was all about the office and my crib. Would she be thrilled to hear me talk about my neighbors or my friends back in Bacolod? And I have been given good feedback for my performance as a tech support agent. I'm a Management Information Systems graduate. I know a thing or two about softwares and hardwares. Heck, I can even create a website or an application even if I've never pursued a programming career [which reminds me that I need to download tutorials for review, hehehehe]. I don't need anybody to tell me what I am. NOW, I bet she doesn't talk about work at all. She's probably busy backbiting her former friends or defending herself or brainwashing other people to side her.

I can go on but I've forgotten about her up until today. I have a kick-ass job, a guy who said he loves me, a healthy family, old and new friends.. I don't ever wanna waste my time again on an almost 30-year old virgin so this is gonna be my first and last rant. I WAS mad at her [only for a few hours] however, it would be such a waste of thought to entertain ideas of revenge. To you I say.. Your hate and anger is your downfall. If you think my silence was cowardice, you're wrong. You wanted to meet me at Ayala and I was there, yet you tell your friends I got scared. You said you can pay someone to hurt me, I would have believed you if you have done the same thing to that someone who owed you i-forgot-how much. You looked pathetic with your efforts to brainwash people to make them see me the way you want them to. Ask anybody and they'll tell you I've never done that despite your constant gossipmonger-ing [for lack of a better word to translate "padungog-dungog"]. It would take a jabber message for me to listen to you or somebody had to tell me what you said just so I know it was me you're referring to. And the thought that people tell me what you say behind my back even then is enough for me to know they care and that's what matters to me. I was never envious of whatever you have or whatever you do. I was never affected by your obvious attempts to make me feel bad. Your friends turned their backs on you and that's karma working it's magic. You're downright righteous and manipulative. You easily see and judge other people, all the while refusing to see your ugly self. You're so darn lucky you had friends like me who were willing to understand you and accept your strange friendship condition that we have to be careful with what we say or do when you're around. Apparently, your inhibitions for people who gets too close is mightier than the Great Wall of China. You think it's okay for you to speak your mind towards other people but we can't when it involves you. Give me a name of your friend that you haven't said something bad about and I swear not to clean my nose for the next 2 months. You're so goddamned judgmental. You don't have the right to judge me for talking openly about MY sex life. Come to think of it, a person who never had a relationship will never understand. Try and get someone to screw you.. I'll eat a spoonful of wasabi or booger [whatever your preference is] if you can stand not telling your friends about it. And by friends I mean people you TRUST - something I shouldn't have carelessly given you. If people knew about what happened to us, it was because you're so arrogant about letting them know they can't mess around you. Get over yourself! I felt bad for Khai for being called a flirt just because she was drunk and a guy helped her into bed. It makes me wonder why you're so affected. In any case, all you'll have for that somebody is wishful thinking and distant longings.. 'coz he will NEVER look at you the same way. I always say, "He who angers you, conquers you" - you think that was for you but again, you're wrong. You assume too much. Hmmm.. I think it's for you after all.. you're mad at me so I-OWN-YOU!

HOME

Doin' Just Fine

I was looking for Michael Buble's version of That's All and what I found was Doin' Just Fine by Boyz II Men. Memories of my first major heartbreak flashed back. I remember playing this song almost everyday, silently hoping for the day that I can finally say that I'm doin' just fine without him. It was a relationship that lasted almost 4 years. The love I had for him was something I was trying very hard to ignore for the most part of its existence. I didn't want to believe everything he said and I refused to acknowledge all his efforts, thinking a relationship which had sex as its foundation couldn't be something more [that should give you an idea of our set-up]. He grew tired of trying to win my trust and screwed things up just when I realized I wanted us to be for real. It reached a point that a simple talk would end in an arguement. He even got himself girlfriends-for-display [I heard most were axed after a few weeks/months] and I'd like to think it was to make me see that he's okay. We pushed each other away. I wouldn't go into details 'coz I don't wanna bore you. We're both good actors so college years went by without people really knowing something's goin' on. Some of our friends are still unaware of that secret affair and I don't intend to ever let them know. There had been attempts to make it work but I guess we're not meant to have a normal relationship. We were just another case of "more than friends but less than lovers".. It took more than a year to get over him but I'm happy that we remain friends to this day. There's still occassional exchange of how-are-you's and plans of let's-go-out-sometime.. Last time we talked, he mentioned about a girlfriend but knowing him - I don't think he'd take her seriously with the way he diverted the topic. I wish him the same happiness and contentment that I now have. There are still days that I can't help but wish I could be alone with him but it's more of my missing his company. He had a reputation of being serious and almost scary but I've seen and known the other side of him that he didn't want anybody else to see. He was a bad lover but he was a good friend. Thoughts of him now's not as heart-breaking as it was about 3 years ago. I'm perfectly happy now with the person who reminded me that life doesn't end there.. and I couldn't ask for more..

Doin' Just Fine

by Boyz II Men

There was a time when I thought life was over and out

When you went away from me

My dying heart made it hard to breathe

Would sit in my room

Because I didn't want to have to go out

And see you walking by

One look and I'd break right down and cry

Now you say that you've made a big mistake

Never meant to take your love away

But you can save your tired apologies

'Cause it may seem hard to believe

But

[Chorus: ]

I'm doin' just fine

Getting along very well

Without you in my life

I don't need you in my life

I'm doin' just fine

Time made me stronger

You're no longer on my mind

You were my earth

My number one priority

I gave my love to only you

Anything you'd ask of me I would do

But somewhere down the road

You felt a change in the weather

And told me that you had to journey on

A kiss in the wind and your love was gone

Now you say you never meant to play your games

Girl, don't you know it's far too late

Because you let our love just fall apart

You no longer have a heart

[Chorus ]

When you said goodbye I felt so all alone

There were times at night I couldn't sleep

My heart was much to weak to make it on my own

Baby after all the misery

And pain you put me through

So unfair to me girl You're no longer my world

And I ain't missin' you at all

[Chorus ]

HOME

A dose of my own medicine..

I love making pranks and finally, I got a dose of my own medicine... Ugh!!! It was supposedly an initiation and get-to-know activity for the newbies. Turns out they had a better idea. Aaarrrggghhh! And I had to pay P10 for speaking Bisaya!

The ice breaker I introduced was Still Pond, Stop Moving. We have played that several times but we added a few twists since today was the first day of some of our new hires. The participants surrounds the "IT" and make noises. Everyone should stop moving once the "IT" taps the floor with the stick 3x. The first person whose foot makes contact with the stick should hold the end of it and do whatever the "IT" asks him/her [like bark like a dog or moan like a porn star]. He/she should disguise his/her voice so the "IT" won't recognize him/her. When the guess is right, the "IT" will be replaced by that person.

I have to admit though, it feels good to have made them laugh.. eventhough I looked stooopid.

HOME

The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising

IMDb: A boy's life is turned upside down when he learns that he is the last of a group of immortal warriors who have dedicated their lives to fighting the forces of the dark.

A movie based on Susan Cooper's novel about a boy who thought he was just like everybody else. Watching it was like seeing Harry Potter in a different actor and movie set. Harry learned about who he is as the-boy-who-lived at eleven, Will discovered his being the seventh son of the seventh son at fourteen. Harry's mortal enemy was Lord Voldemort while Will's was The Rider which were both referred to as the Dark Lord. Harry had Dumbledore and the rest of the Order of the Phoenix to help him fight the Dark Lord, Will had the Old Ones. Harry had to hunt for horcruxes to which he was the last one while Will had to seek the signs, he was also the last sign. Both had a weakness for family and friends, can go back in time [pensieve for Harry], have powers they discovered along the way and both came out victorious in the end. It's still a must see 'coz I think young Alexander Ludwig is hot.

By the way, J.K. Rowling said Dumbledore is gay. He was in-love with Gellert Grindelwald. No wonder his love life wasn't mentioned all throughout the series. A big shout-out to the gay community for having the greatest wizard on their side!

HOME

Sigh

Wikipedia: The 2007 Glorietta explosion was an explosion that ripped through the Glorietta 2 section of the Glorietta shopping complex at Ayala Center in Makati, Metropolitan Manila, in the Philippines on 19 October 2007 at around 1:25 PM PST. Initial reports say the explosion originated from an LPG tank explosion in an in-mall restaurant.[1] However, authorities were (as of yet) unable to confirm the nature or source of the explosion. The blast has reportedly killed nine people and injured more than 100. Many of the victims were admitted at the Makati Medical Center and Ospital ng Makati.

Regardless of the reason why there was an explosion, this is very sad. If it had been an LPG tank explosion, f*ck the people who should have been responsible for ensuring the safety of the mall. If it was yet again another planned terrorist attack, f*ck you all for killing the 11 innocent people reported dead as of tonight's news. Regardless of the reason, we can only pray that this won't happen again.

Just recently, I got a text message from somebody who said he wanted to be "my friend". I didn't want to entertain him 'coz I'm way over textmates. However, he said we were once chatmates so I thought it wouldn't hurt to spend a few peso for a little get-to-know thingy. One day, he sent me his picture [so he said] with a sexual invitation. Being the nice person that I am, I sent a polite message saying I don't appreciate that kind of approach from somebody who just wanted to be friends and who I don't even personally know. He had been miss-calling [I can recognize his number eventhough I've deleted it] and he refused to stop bothering me. Last night, Mark [again, so he said] sent me a video of himself jerking off. I don't mind having encounters like this from imbeciles like him but I was tipsy [I was in Paseo with some friends hehehehe] and I just had the urge to make patol. I tried calling him several times but he wouldn't answer, sent messages non-stop threatening him but the asshole didn't understand plain and simple english. So I texted my brother and his entire barkada, including mine.. asked them to each send a few text messages to the guy and told them they can say whatever they want to say. I wanted to piss the guy so bad and if you wanna help me drive the son of a bitch crazy, here's his number ---> [+63] 0910.285.5370

Before I end this, lemme just say this guy has a small dick and it was sooo dark, maybe his thing's full of bruises 'coz he grips it too hard. He probably can't get a girl to f*ck. How pathetic.

One more thing before I go, Sam Milby and Piolo Pascual --- a couple?! LOL. It's all over the local showbiz news. It's irritating. They ought to be talking about better things like perhaps, world peace?

HOME

Pearl and Ellen

If you haven't seen The Landlord yet, watch it and you'll fall in-love with baby Pearl. Just recently I came across another video of her and Will Ferrell. This one is allegedly her last performance - Good Cop, Baby Cop. She's sooo cute and funny! I just can't get enough of her. I think she'd be the future Ellen Degeneres. With their current looks, they almost look like mother and daughter. Short, blonde hair and both with bad-ass humor. I wish Pearl would have movies later on. I'll be outside the cinema before it opens. By the way, Ellen's breakdown over her dog Iggy has gone out of hand with all the death threats to the people of Mutts & Moms [website removed]. I totally feel for her 'coz I know how it feels to lose a dog or whatever you'd prefer as a pet in a situation that you have no control over. I cried when I came home one day and learned that my stupid brother forgot to lock the gate and my dog Jinky was nowhere to be found. My little sister cried for a day when my dad gave away her dog because we already had 5 at that time and their shit were all over the place. Our whole family attended one of our dog's burial in our garden. Ellen pleaded her supporters to stop harassing Mutts & Moms, who in turn claimed that Ellen used her popularity to get the people's sympathy. Ellen just wants to have Iggy returned to her or at least she'd be assured that the dog will be given a home with the same love and care that her hairdresser's family had given it. I hope this would end soon. As much as I love dogs, I don't think they're reason enough to be the cause of violence. Come to think of it, what's in it for us if we use violence?



HOME

I'm Guilty!

I'm guilty... of opening non-work related websites and video streaming. That has been my problem eversince. I'm not too techy but I'm not a novice either. I love computers and I love the internet. I got a warning in PS for illegal browsing and installation of non-work related softwares. Although, I can justify myself by saying those softwares made my job easy and I've been hands-on on the research for the new line of business that has been assigned to us back then. The sites cited in the warning were all bullshit but... past is past. Here, I am totally guilty of being too relaxed on my job - sometimes. I guess I'm enjoying it too much that "sometimes" I forget that I am paid to deliver results. The work gets boring at certain hours that for lack of anything to do, I go to random websites and watch anything and everything. My yahoo address book is in order, my multiply account is updated with its theme being changed constantly and for once, I have an updated blog. As I've mentioned before I had a few blogs, some of which I can't remember any longer because 1.] I forget the website addy; 2.] I am obliged to take calls and be on avail; 3] the site is blocked and proxies are blocked as well after a day of use; etc, etc. I haven't watched any video at all today and I don't have any intentions of doing that during work hours anymore. I know I can.

I'm guilty too of watching cooking shows too much. I don't think there's something wrong with it but most of the time, I'd rather watch than sleep even if I know I'd be working a few hours later. I even watch replays. I can't cook but I love watching chefs chop, fry, pulse, etc. It looks easy but I have no idea where to get the ingredients they use here in the Philippines. I bet my 10 fingers I can't find a rosemary in Ayala or SM. Damn the Lifestyle channel.

---> Update as of 10.23.07, 03:56 a.m. - I saw a bottle of dried rosemary in Ayala earlier. I was wrong. But there are still ingredients we can't find here.. like the wide variety of cheese or vegetables that I don't even know how to pronounce right. Hehehehe..Ü

I'm guilty of a lot of things. Like blogging when I'm supposed to be researching and calling. Which reminds me that it's 1:19 a.m. and I ought to be doing that instead of wasting my time blogging.

HOME

Stardust

IMDb: In a countryside town bordering on a magical land, a young man makes a promise to his beloved that he'll retrieve a fallen star by venturing into the magical realm.

Another story from a brilliant writer, Neil Gaiman. I haven't read anything he's written and haven't even heard of his name until my friend mentioned it. The story was good and the movie was even better. I didn't even want to blink. Robert De Niro was so funny with his portrayal of a gay captain who had to put up a facade because he wanted to protect his reputation. Michelle Pfeiffer was impressive as the dominant among 3 sisters who wanted to have eternal youth and beauty. She was even better than the White Witch in Narnia played by Tilda Swinton who by the way looks like Cate Blanchett. I don't like Claire Danes but she was okay. I loved the newcomer Charlie Cox and his character as Tristan, not to mention that he's uber hot.

The movie plot was simple but it's not cheesy even if it was a story of a knight in shining armor and a damsel in distress. It's definitely a must see.

HOME

A Jam-Packed Weekend

Weekend was jam-packed. I got off from work Saturday morning and headed directly to a grocery store, grabbed a quick breakfast and went home for shower. I went to my bestfriend's graduation party and was with his whole family all throughout the afternoon driving around the city trying my best to keep up with his energetic niece. By 2pm, I was already awake for 24 hours. We went to Bo's-SM and ordered fraps and cakes to pass the time by. We were waiting for his family to get him as they went to Ayala. We stayed there for almost 4 hours and talked for only about 20 minutes. I was so pissed off because he was busy trying to solve the stupid Rubik's cube, which by the way I got at a local store that sells educational toys.. yes, I got an original one here in the Philippines, less the shipping charge. To end the day, I walked out on him and his brother. I was tired, sleepy and was eager to get to the children's section to get a gift for my officemate's daughter. I only decided to talk to him earlier today.. we watched No Reservations. It's a boring movie so don't waste your P110.

I had a full body massage before I ended Saturday. Slept at 11pm, woke up at 9am to get ready for a children's party. It was uneventful except for the children who almost gave me nose-bleeding because of their "english-spokening" - and the food was really good. I then went to SM to wait until 7pm for my planned blowout to my team before I left PS. And since it was another boring Sunday afternoon and I was alone, I watched Apat Dapat-Dapat Apat. I did laugh at a few scenes it but I didn't like the movie.

Evening came and I met some of the people which I've grown to love even if I only got to spend a short period of time with them as I resigned a couple of months after they hit the floor. It was nice to hear them talk about troubleshooting and how they still get headaches whenever they talk to our Indian counterparts. I missed the work I had to do for 3 years. I did hear a lot of complaints about the new management and I can't help but be thankful that I'm out of there and I don't have to deal with all the bullshit that call-centers seem to have patterned. Politics, intrigues, back-biting and what-not. I didn't want to hear it but I know that those are one of the few times that they can actually pour out all their frustrations. A few sets after, one was already sleeping and most were eager to go home since they still have shifts the following morning, so we went home.

I slept at around 2am, woke up at 9am and headed to SM to meet up with Talia. We had to 'coz we missed out on our Sunday shopping. So as I've mentioned, we watched a movie and the b*tch had to leave early to watch her TL's basketball game leaving me and my bestfriend. I'd rather not talk about what happened after the movie. No sleep again and I had to be here in the office at 8:30pm for the blessing. We then had to go to our CEO's house for a lambasting. He said we slack off and what I'm doing right now is exactly what he was referring to. I'm not insensitive, I can get a hint. Gotta go now, I still have to find a way to keep myself awake. It's been 14 hours of no sleep.. and still counting..

HOME

The History of the Word FUCK

A colleague gave me this link on the History of the Word FUCK and I think it's so brilliant for somebody to go out of his way to give a detailed definition on a word that we use a lot everyday, consciously or not. I often say "I don't give a fuck" instead of "I don't give a damn" - I think it's catchy that way. If I drop something, I say "fuck" instead of "crap". The video said the word from where it was derived from was not english but we hear americans say it all the time, may it be on movies or television. The first time somebody told me to fuck off, I cried my heart out. It was from an irate customer while I was still with tech support. Then I realized it wasn't a big deal for americans. It's like saying "whatever" and I've learned it's pretty much accepted as a part of the everyday language. The video said we should say it loudly and proudly so I'll leave you all with this... FUCK YOU!Ü

HOME

I'm In Love!

Aside from being in-love with Adam Sandler, I'm also in-love with dolphins. There's just something about them that makes me want to jump and giggle like a lunatic whenever I see pictures or videos like this one, which I stumbled upon while looking for a new theme for my multiply account. I don't even know when this fascination started. Some of my friends would tell me they saw a necklace or whatever with a dolphin design thinking I might want to buy it. So that pretty much tells you that I have an obsession 'coz they know exactly what I'd do - buy [that is, if I have a few bucks to spare]. A good friend even gave me a lighter and a key chain. Funny how I claim to love something yet I don't know much about it. I know that dolphins sometimes mate with the same sex and I can only name one kind or type or whatever, the bottle-nosed dolphin. I'm not interested in studying them anyway, I just love watching them. Seeing them for real is something I look forward to whenever I travel to go home in Bacolod. I'm too embarassed to admit that I'm hoping I'd get a glimpse of them whenever somebody would ask why I opt to stay in the economy class so I just tell them I smoke a lot [which is also true]. I'd know when they're near once I hear random splashes and I don't care if I look like an idiot since I travel alone most of the time. The feeling is inexplicable. I've always dreamed of becoming very wealthy, get a house with a pool, big enough to provide a shelter and a playground to even just one dolphin so I could swim and play with it anytime I want. However, I learned that they love to swim in groups. They say no man is an island --- humans are animals --- therefore no animal is an island [I don't really know what I'm trying to point out]. But most importantly, I don't want to subject an innocent animal to celibacy.

Anyway, enough of that. I'm bored. That's the reason why I chose this lame topic to blog about. Today I'll get my last pay with PS and I doubt the figure would justify my 3-year service to the company. Here in the Philippines, 3 years in a call center is already a milestone. I don't mind though, money is money. Yawn. Since I'm in-love with Adam Sandler and dolphins and nevermind.. I think the only thing that's missing in my life right now is sleep. All I can think of is my bed, my pillows, and my stuffed toys - Taz and Clyde the dolphin. I can't wait for the shift to be over. Gotta go, I need to have my nicotine intake now or I'll pass out before the daily wrap-up meeting which is still a couple of hours away. Yawn.

HOME

A Stupid Writer & A Stupid Actress

“Okay, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? 'Coz I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines."

Another insult to the Philippines. Why don't they just leave us alone? This one's from Teri Hatcher in one of the episodes of Desperate Housewives. I've been putting off this comment because I wasn't done yet with the asshole from Korea. Damn you people. Stupid writer.. and stupid actress. If I was given that script, I would have said something. Now who's to face the wrath of the offended parties? To make it worse, she added - "I don't know what kind of non-sense they taught you..." - then she realized that the doctor graduated in Harvard. It's not that Filipinos lack humor as one blogger said, we just detest the thought that people think less of us. It would have been okay to hear it from Rob Schneider whose mother's a Filipina [Trivia: Pilar Schneider, Filipino; appeared on with Schneider on "The 2nd Annual Saturday Night Live Mother's Day Special" (NBC, 5/9/93); born c. 1928]. I've heard him joke about Filipinos and I laughed 'coz I feel it is okay to comment on people you know. He might have grown up in the US but Filipino moms would always be Filipino moms. He probably got yelled by his mom when he was younger - "Ta**ina Rob, lecheng bata ka, san ka galing?! Ba't basang-basa ka at ang dungis mo?!" I can't remember the exact line from the black guy in The Animal, he said something like, "Do you know why he wasn't promoted? [referring to a Filipino] Because he's stupid!" And I thought that was funny.

I am personally offended because all of my closest friends are in this field of study and I don't want anybody to insult them in any way. To all of you who does nothing but belittle us Filipinos, lemme just say we have contributed so much to the world and we deserve to be praised for all the wonderful things we've done and are still doing for you. Who takes care of your children when you're out doing God knows what? Who's taking care of your old parents when you throw them into the lonely corners of nursing homes, which FYI rarely happens here in the Philippines - children even fight for their folk's custody.. or where are those gentle nurses in your local hospital from? Low-class jobs but you couldn't live without. There's so much more that Filipinos can give the world, heck we have Guinness records too. Give us a chance. Last Sunday, one Filipino [Manny Pacquiao] gave honor to the country again by beating a Mexican [Marco Antonio Barrera] in a boxing match. So little for you but here in the Philippines, it's pandemonium! Mabuhay ang mga Pinoy!

HOME

Nice to know..

Congratulations, CLauDinE®! Your IQ score is 122.

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.
Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind.

Descriptive Classifications of Intelligence Quotients

IQ - Description - % of Population

130+ - Very superior - 2.2%

120-129 - Superior - 6.7%

110-119 - High average - 16.1%

90-109 - Average - 50%

80-89 - Low average - 16.1%

70-79 - Borderline - 6.7%

Below 70 - Extremely low - 2.2%

I have no idea why I took the test. Nevertheless, I'm happy knowing I'm not an average like I thought I was. If you don't know your IQ yet, it wouldn't take long, here's the link. Back to work and I have to admit I miss my workstation with all it's mess and I miss the routine that I had to abandon for a week to help with local recruiting. A former officemate who I referred was extended an offer and I'm excited about working with him again as he's one of the funniest people I know. I talked to couple of gay drunkards last night and I was able to talk one of them into applying and before I left them, the other one said I talk well. I went to PS last Friday and talked to some of my former officemates and one of them said I've become sales-y which came out as a big surprise as I was one of the most vocal about how I hated the sales people while I was still with technical support. It's another story but nice to know Global Response had awaken this side of me.

Over the last couple of weeks I have watched a few movies. Resident Evil: Extinction, Rogue Assassin, even the local movie I've Fallen For You. I hated the movie and I won't even bother putting a link. Wonder why I watched it? I dunno. It was another boring Sunday and nobody was available to keep me company. It was one of those days that for the lack of anything productive to do, I allow myself to indulge in kabaduyan. I've watched quite a few baduy films because for one, I'm bored and another was I'm curious as to why people actually flock to cinemas to watch it and even allow an ambush interview. To that I say again, to each his own. Not my cup of tea but it didn't hurt either.. so it's okay. It's my BWB [don't ask me what that means] graduation this coming Saturday and I've been tiring myself thinking of what not-so-cheap but at the same time not-too-expensive gift I can give to a 25-year old guy. He wanted an original Rubik's Cube but I dunno where to get one or why out-of-the-blue he asked for it. If there's anybody out there who can help me, leave a comment with your email addy. Help, please and thanks!

HOME

Friday Night

I should know better. Buying pirated copies would not all be cookies and cream. My eyes were all puffy out of crying over Sex & The City eventhough I've already seen the other episodes. It's different when you watch it all together from 11pm to 11am for 3 straight days. However, the stupid CD stopped playing halfway thru the last season! Aaarrrggghhh! #$%^&*(*%%^&*I^*(*&^&*$#$&*()_^$%^&* !!!

The only consolation that I have is the the new found, extra-ordinary patience that I didn't know I have. I know I am, patient, but trying to go thru the motion of seaching for an episode and fast-forwarding to the scene I've last seen for i-forgot-how-many-times is something I am not aware I'm capable of doing. I stopped counting after my age [go figure!] and it turned out I was way beyond patient than I thought I was. Anyway, I know it doesn't mean anything to you but it does for me.

The whole company was in a frenzy the last couple of days recruiting. Last Friday, we went call-center hopping, randomly approached strangers, striked up conversations and convinced them to apply. We were successful with a few but we'll find out over the next few days. A few hours into that, we headed into a local bar ordered a pitcher of strawberry-flavored margarita which turned out as a big mistake because it was like drinking a glass of kool-aid with sugar instead of salt. We tried to pump up the adrenaline by paying a fee to get inside the bar and get wild but it turned out the people there were a bunch of losers with the DJ spinning RnB tunes from the 90's. How's that for a friday night out? Ugh! Last stop was at an office-mate's house with all its grandeur. A pool, a bar, a gym and a pool table. Pictorial was the main agenda but the best part was the drive around town, going after cabs with cats and trying to pick a fight with people we pass by. LOL. That sounds crazy, ain't it. Come to think of it, we're a bunch of crazy people - did I mention it's a girl's night out? Oh, I watched Chuck & Larry again yesterday. I told my friend it's ok to watch it the 2nd time around and keep her company but reality is, I just want to see Adam Sandler again on the big screen. Yummy!Ü One last thing, Pacman won over Barrera yesterday and guess what, no traffic!!!

HOME

A Korean's View About The Philippines

Weekend went by like any ordinary days of my sometimes not so adventurous life. No work for the rest of the week as we're tasked to fill out our most important job order and that would be finding people to work in our company. We went to my friends' former office at 3am earlier today to catch on those that'll be logging off at that time and they were able to convince some to attend our orientation and see for themselves if they want to join our little team. Me? I don't want to bring some of my former officemates with me 'coz most of them are really very vocal and they may not understand how things are done on a start-up company since they've been used to a structured management. Moving on, I bought a DVD copy of Sex and the City's season 1 to 7 [yes, pirated 'coz it's really hard to find an original copy] and had a marathon with Faith and Genie who moved in to the pension house that I'm staying in a couple of weeks back. Two episodes later, they were laughing and enjoying it and I never doubted they wouldn't 'coz these are two of the most liberated women I know. However, there was something I'd been dying to write about and let me give a disclaimer that this is gonna be long and you're not obliged in any way to read it. If you love our country, then read on.

I received an email from a friend over the weekend and I was so pissed off that I wanna share it with you. Below you'll find an unedited copy of an essay written by a Korean who ranted about how poor the Philippines is and that it's because of our lack of love for our country. While I think some parts of the essay are true, damn if I want it to come from somebody who bragged about how they love their country yet is here to take advantage of the talent of the people he had subtly insulted. Hey bastard, If only I have a talent to tell Koreans apart by your looks and your names doesn't sound like any other "aha-sinsiyo" as I would call your lot.. If I get the chance to personally meet you, yes you Jaeyoun Kim If you come across this.. If you ever set foot here in Cebu and I see you walking down the street, watch out 'coz I'll stick my foot up your ass the first chance I get. How dare you! Do you have any idea how patriotic Filipinos are? Haven't you seen the local station ID's or perhaps ever wonder why the streets are so quiet when Manny Pacquiao is off to defend a boxing title? If there are people wanting to go out of the country, that's because they want a better life for their families which as you know Philippines can't provide -- as you've said, this is a poor country. But that doesn't mean they love the country less. Aren't there any Koreans who wanted to go to, say the US, because they want to earn more? Does that also mean they don't love Korea? If you f*ckin' love your country so much, why are you f*ckin' here? Don't you trust the talent of the people in your country? Don't you love your countrymen enough to entrust your education to them? The nerve to say "Let's put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes." WTF! Before you f*ckin' preach about love and change and what-not's, why not focus first on perfecting your english? That the reason why you came here in the first place, right? We don't need you. I'm gonna stop now, this rant wouldn't change my life either.

MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES
Jaeyoun Kim

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in
the Philippines . Do you really think the corruption
is the problem of the Philippines ? I do not
think so. I strongly believe that the problem is
the lack of love for the Philippines.

Let me first talk about my country, Korea.
It might help you understand my point.
After the Korean War, South Korea was one
of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans
had to start from scratch because entire country was
destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no
natural resources.

Koreans used to talk about the Philippines , for
Filipinos were very rich in Asia . We envy Filipinos.
Koreans really wanted to be well off like
Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine.
My father & brother also died because of famine.
Korean government was very corrupt and is still very
corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was
able to develop dramatically because Koreans really
did their best for the common good with their heart
burning with patriotism.

Koreans did not work just for themselves but also
for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired
young men with the spirit of patriotism.

40 years ago, President Park took over the
government to reform Korea . He tried to borrow money
from other countries, but it was not possible to get a
loan and attract a foreign investment because the
economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had
only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine
workers and nurses to Germany so that
they could send money to Korea to build a factory.
They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow
money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the
airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw
the President Park . They asked to him, "President,
when can we be well off?" That was the only question
everyone asked to him. President Park cried with
them and promised them that Korea would be well
off if everyone works hard for Korea , and the President
of Germany got the strong impression on them
and lent money to Korea . So, President Park was
able to build many factories in Korea . He always
asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA
came back to Korea to help developing country
because they wanted their country to be well off.
Though they received very small salary, they did their
best for Korea . They always hoped that their children
would live in well off country.

My parents always brought me to the places where
poor and physically handicapped people live. They
wanted me to understand their life and help them..
I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army..
The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we
have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my
neighborhood. Have you cried for the
Philippines ? I have cried for my country several
times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many
poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid
prison. What made me sad in the prison were the
prisoners who do not have any love for their country.
They go to mass and work for Church. They pray
everyday.

However, they do not love the Philippines .I
talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound,
and both of them said that they would leave the
Philippines right after they are released from the
prison. They said that they would start a new life in other
countries and never come back to the Philippines.

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that
we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood.
The owners of factory and company were distributed their
profit to their employees fairly so that employees could
buy what they needed and saved money for the
future and their children.

When I was in Korea , I had a very strong faith and
wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines ,
I completely lost my faith.
I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable
situations in the Philippines . Street kids always make me sad,
and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic
country in Asia , but there are too many poor people here.
People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has
been changed.

My parents came to the Philippines last week an
saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer
than the present Philippines when they
were young. They are so sorry that there are so
many beggars and street kids. When we went to Pasangjan,
I forced my parents to take a boat because
it would fun. However, they were not happy after
taking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat
again because they were sympathized the
boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a
small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it.
But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love
for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church
since I was very young told me that if we just go to
mass without changing ourselves, we are not
Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action.
She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things
for them because all of us are same and have received a great
love from God. I want Filipinos to love their
neighborhood and country as much as they love God
so that the Philippines will be well off.

I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipino
should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once.
It should start from person. Love must start in everybody,
in a s mall scale and have to grow. A lot of
things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away
our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.

I discover that every person is worthy to be
loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible.
Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and
relationships. It changes the world. Please love your
neighborhood and country.

Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we
do to Him. In the Philippines , there is God for people who
are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love.
If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines .
Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country.
You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others

That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos.

Here's a shout-out for you Jaeyoun Kim, go f*ckin' home!

HOME