I OWN YOU!

I had coffee earlier with a former officemate, Khai and heard stories about the person who singled me out from among her many friends to be the subject of her angst. SHE CAN READ THIS FOR ALL I CARE. I kept my silence but I'll talk just so I can totally put it all behind. I also want to do this for Khai. Hurt me and I wouldn't mind as long it's not physical but hurt my friend/s and.. and.. I'll give you a long tongue lashing. It happened not so long ago and I still remember the satisfaction I get whenever she does something [supposedly to piss me off] and I'd be oblivious, I know that'll make her mad all the more. I've already decided to put away thoughts of clarifying the reason why. I've tried settling it in a professional way but she refused. I heard several unreasonable reasons and I can't help but laugh thinking there's a person who'd go into extremes [read: lame and childish] to get somebody out of her life. It had been easier if she just told me to stay away but she chose to do it the hard way. Through it all, I found out who my friends really are and I have her to thank for that. Khai told me she and another friend had been "victimized" by this person. Even her own barkada. Now everybody seems to be mad at her. I pity her but I'd be a hypocrite if I won't admit that I so wanted to say "Bleeeh!" right to her face. In fact, I didn't have to wait for this to happen 'coz the fact that I'm not as bothered as she is by each other's presence is sweet victory in itself.

A few months back, I got a text message from an unlisted number with all the curses I can think of. There were several exchange of messages. Insults from that end and questions from mine. I had absolutely no idea about her accusations. SHE SAID that my so-called friends are not really my friends and were just putting up faces. I could have said "you're only still friends with them because they don't want to get into your bad side and be treated this way" but during that time, I was still unaware of who she really was until somebody confirmed it. I can't think of a time when I wronged her. I asked my supervisor's help to set-up a meeting and as I've said earlier, she refused. I replied and told her what I show my so-called friends as she calls it, are true and if they think otherwise, then it's not my problem anymore.. I have others.. NOW, where are her friends? She drove them away too. SHE SAID I'm pathetic 'coz during my last few months in PS, I only had the newbies for friends and I didn't care 'coz I enjoyed their company and had new-found friendships. NOW, almost all her friends had ganged up on her so she has no choice but be with newbies too - people who are still unaware of what she really is. SHE SAID I talk about work all the time and I'm very desperate to be called a techy. I told her my PS life was all about the office and my crib. Would she be thrilled to hear me talk about my neighbors or my friends back in Bacolod? And I have been given good feedback for my performance as a tech support agent. I'm a Management Information Systems graduate. I know a thing or two about softwares and hardwares. Heck, I can even create a website or an application even if I've never pursued a programming career [which reminds me that I need to download tutorials for review, hehehehe]. I don't need anybody to tell me what I am. NOW, I bet she doesn't talk about work at all. She's probably busy backbiting her former friends or defending herself or brainwashing other people to side her.

I can go on but I've forgotten about her up until today. I have a kick-ass job, a guy who said he loves me, a healthy family, old and new friends.. I don't ever wanna waste my time again on an almost 30-year old virgin so this is gonna be my first and last rant. I WAS mad at her [only for a few hours] however, it would be such a waste of thought to entertain ideas of revenge. To you I say.. Your hate and anger is your downfall. If you think my silence was cowardice, you're wrong. You wanted to meet me at Ayala and I was there, yet you tell your friends I got scared. You said you can pay someone to hurt me, I would have believed you if you have done the same thing to that someone who owed you i-forgot-how much. You looked pathetic with your efforts to brainwash people to make them see me the way you want them to. Ask anybody and they'll tell you I've never done that despite your constant gossipmonger-ing [for lack of a better word to translate "padungog-dungog"]. It would take a jabber message for me to listen to you or somebody had to tell me what you said just so I know it was me you're referring to. And the thought that people tell me what you say behind my back even then is enough for me to know they care and that's what matters to me. I was never envious of whatever you have or whatever you do. I was never affected by your obvious attempts to make me feel bad. Your friends turned their backs on you and that's karma working it's magic. You're downright righteous and manipulative. You easily see and judge other people, all the while refusing to see your ugly self. You're so darn lucky you had friends like me who were willing to understand you and accept your strange friendship condition that we have to be careful with what we say or do when you're around. Apparently, your inhibitions for people who gets too close is mightier than the Great Wall of China. You think it's okay for you to speak your mind towards other people but we can't when it involves you. Give me a name of your friend that you haven't said something bad about and I swear not to clean my nose for the next 2 months. You're so goddamned judgmental. You don't have the right to judge me for talking openly about MY sex life. Come to think of it, a person who never had a relationship will never understand. Try and get someone to screw you.. I'll eat a spoonful of wasabi or booger [whatever your preference is] if you can stand not telling your friends about it. And by friends I mean people you TRUST - something I shouldn't have carelessly given you. If people knew about what happened to us, it was because you're so arrogant about letting them know they can't mess around you. Get over yourself! I felt bad for Khai for being called a flirt just because she was drunk and a guy helped her into bed. It makes me wonder why you're so affected. In any case, all you'll have for that somebody is wishful thinking and distant longings.. 'coz he will NEVER look at you the same way. I always say, "He who angers you, conquers you" - you think that was for you but again, you're wrong. You assume too much. Hmmm.. I think it's for you after all.. you're mad at me so I-OWN-YOU!

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