Damn Boring!

So this is what it feels like to stay at home all day long waiting for your partner to come home. Damn boring! After sitting in front of the pc for 3 straight hours, watching non-sense youtube videos, I realized I'll never be like my mom. I will never be domesticated by a man! I feel stupid sitting here waiting for him to come home at around 2pm, holding and smelling the shirt he wore last night. I'm never the person who would be excited to go to work but I'm now wishing I could pull the time so I can go back to my pad and live my normal life. For the past 6 months, I've been spending my rest days here at his house 'coz he knows I'm embarassed to smoke with his family around the house. My team thinks I'm a kj 'coz I'd always refuse if they make plans to "kuray". One time I told them, "if you have met me 2-3 years ago, you wouldn't say that.." I've been trying to stay at home or be with him as often as I can 'coz I'D REALLY LOVE TO BREAK OFF WITH MARLBORO!

I've been caught smoking more than once since February (my original deadline) and I've charmed my way out of confrontation all the time. The last one was a li'l scary. He's very convinced I haven't had a stick for the last 2 weeks. I had a fever coupled with a phlegm-y cough ('til now) and he was certain it was part of the "withdrawal" when it was really because of stress. Then me, the ogob ng ganda forgot that he has a dupe of my key, failed to tuck away the ashtray full of butts at the back of the TV where I've proven he wouldn't see, got caught for the nth time. He was so upset and I think that if I get caught one more time, he'd leave me. So I swore - again - that I'll quit and I said I'm sorry and he said okay.

I'm giving myself a pat on the back for being able to fight my cravings for the last 4 days and 3 nights! So there.. The smoking, I can handle.. The staying at home part (there are plans already about "the future" but I still don't want to share it - puera jinx! lol) .. that I still have to think about..

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