Hihihihihihi!

I found two new cool and funny baby videos while waiting for sleep to come earlier this morning. I love the dancing baby! She just dropped her toy and she was annoyed that they stopped playing the music which by the way is an Eminem song.. Enjoy watching while I savour the last few hours before I get back to work.

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Bacolod, Masskara and Karina..

October's almost here. It's Masskara again and for the nth time, I'll miss it! The street dancing and watching it outside my lola's house. The night-outs and squeezing in the crowded plaza and reclamation area. The funny looking masks. The chicken inasal at Manokan Country with the yellow oil we pour over rice. The cansi and nila^ga^. Tikboy's chicken barbeque and grilled bread. Papa's pagi and fresh-brewed coffee every morning. And my lola's valenciana! Everything! To make it worse, Karina Antoinette Francesca Valderrama is coming home and I can't be there. Buang ka Krns!!! Hahahahahaha! You should have notified me 2 months prior 'coz leave allocation in the call center industry is as scarce as rice in the Philippines! Yudiputa! I wish I never left Bacolod and never fell in-love with Cebu and Sinulog and Ryan and the friends I made here! Diputa!!! Bwiseeeeeeeeeet!!!

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Don't Read This.. It's Boring and I'm Just Ranting..

I wonder why every time it rains I feel the need to blog. I think it is because, I've left with nothing to do but rant in my head and put it into writing. It's the last day of my off. At 02:30am later, I'll be back to the noisy and crowded place I call my office. Ryan will go to Bohol tomorrow and he'll be gone for 4 days. I wonder what I'd do when I've been used to spending the afternoon with him.. The raindrops make me really sleepy.. I refuse to sleep though.. 'coz then I'll get up early tonight and I'd be up for more hours by the time I get out of the office tomorrow.

It's been a few days without cigs. It's rainy days like today that I regret having promised him I'd quit. I think I'll drug his sister, cousin and grandma so I can sneak out and smoke.. They've been given strict instructions to look after me while he's at work. I used to hide my sticks in my kikay kit, 'coz that's one place he doesn't look into. But his sister does. I know.. it sucks! If you ask me, I'm not sure if this is for good. Nobody stops me at work and temptation is everywhere..

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Damn Boring!

So this is what it feels like to stay at home all day long waiting for your partner to come home. Damn boring! After sitting in front of the pc for 3 straight hours, watching non-sense youtube videos, I realized I'll never be like my mom. I will never be domesticated by a man! I feel stupid sitting here waiting for him to come home at around 2pm, holding and smelling the shirt he wore last night. I'm never the person who would be excited to go to work but I'm now wishing I could pull the time so I can go back to my pad and live my normal life. For the past 6 months, I've been spending my rest days here at his house 'coz he knows I'm embarassed to smoke with his family around the house. My team thinks I'm a kj 'coz I'd always refuse if they make plans to "kuray". One time I told them, "if you have met me 2-3 years ago, you wouldn't say that.." I've been trying to stay at home or be with him as often as I can 'coz I'D REALLY LOVE TO BREAK OFF WITH MARLBORO!

I've been caught smoking more than once since February (my original deadline) and I've charmed my way out of confrontation all the time. The last one was a li'l scary. He's very convinced I haven't had a stick for the last 2 weeks. I had a fever coupled with a phlegm-y cough ('til now) and he was certain it was part of the "withdrawal" when it was really because of stress. Then me, the ogob ng ganda forgot that he has a dupe of my key, failed to tuck away the ashtray full of butts at the back of the TV where I've proven he wouldn't see, got caught for the nth time. He was so upset and I think that if I get caught one more time, he'd leave me. So I swore - again - that I'll quit and I said I'm sorry and he said okay.

I'm giving myself a pat on the back for being able to fight my cravings for the last 4 days and 3 nights! So there.. The smoking, I can handle.. The staying at home part (there are plans already about "the future" but I still don't want to share it - puera jinx! lol) .. that I still have to think about..

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